What can you possibly learn from a bunch of celebrity pipsqueaks, who have chosen (for enormous sums of money) to shove, strangle and cuddle on reality TV?
Apparently, a lot! How to deflect arguments and get away with murder (the way they cry foul, you’d think someone was shot) are tricks that won’t fail you.
PS: We’d never rely on them. If you do, we hope we can see you on reality TV soon
1. Never Stick To The Point. Instead, resurrect a fight from two weeks ago. As the high TRPs bear testimony, not only will it distract people, it’ll ensure you full unaccountability. Since you’ll both be screaming about entirely different things, the point will be lost.
2. Ain’t Nothing Wrong With Pretending Dumb. If you’re a woman, saying a bewildered kyaaa! on loop whenever you’re questioned, is known to forgive a multitude of sins and makes you extremely adorable. For complete tutorials, watch Katrina Kaif circa 2008, Eli, speak to Salman Khan on Fridays.
3. Enemy’s Enemy = Friend. Does it matter if you’ve sworn against a belligerent duo since day one? Not when your nemesis wrongs them. Then, you support them. Like Gauahar and Kamya, who don’t let any opportunity to put Andy down, even if it means standing up for snickering star kids Armaan and Tanishaa.
4. The Nice Man Standing. Let them pull hair and hurl plates. So what if you get caught in the crossfire? There’s nothing stopping your supply of chawanprash! Like heartland heartthrob Sangram, who is quick to apologise even if he isn’t at fault. He has an endless flow of mercy for his abusers.
From HT Brunch, November 24
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