Personal Agenda: Archana Puran Singh, Actress
The first line of your autobiography would read...
“The following has no resemblance to any person living or dead.”
The pick-up line that makes you laugh.
“Hey gorgeous!” Because I’m anything but gorgeous. I love corny lines, but I’m not picked up too often.
What cracks you up?
More than humour, it’s wit, and an attitude. If a person delivering a funny line has the right attitude, that does it for me.
You’re the editor of a comic book. Who would you put on the cover?
My husband, because he’s one real-life cartoon.
Which body part would you insure?
My brain. It’s my single most valuable asset.
The best part about being a judge.
You get to laugh all the way to the bank.
And the worst.
You’ve got to discover 1,001 different ways to say how bad an act was without offending or hurting the person’s feelings.
What should every woman know about a man?
That he’s completely dispensable and utterly unnecessary.
A joke that never fails.
The joke that’s on you. Self-deprecating humour never fails.
Rate your sense of humour on a scale of 1-10?
It’s off the charts!
If you could be a superhero, who would you be?
Wonder Woman. She’s a knockout and I’d love to wear her costume. Also, I’ve been Wonder Woman at home for so long, I might as well get the costume too!
Best dialogue from Sholay?
“Kitney aadmi they?” It has so many connotations.
Which character from Sholay would you like to play?
I’d love to play Dhanno or Thakur’s severed arms (where did they go?). Or perhaps Jaya Bachchan’s lantern.
Mere pass bangla hai, gaadi hai, bank balance hai. Tumhare pass kya hai?
That doesn’t hold true for me. But my mother lives with me! So I’ll go with the classic answer, “Mere pass maa hai!”
A rumour you’d like to start.
I spent a lot of time in my heyday quashing rumours. At this stage, there’s no rumour I’d actually like to start.
Three funny women on television.
Purbi, Bharti and me, because I’ve lasted this long on TV by just laughing.
Raising two teenage boys is like...
Your worst nightmare coming true, yet it’s the biggest joy. I guess that’s the contradiction of motherhood.
Assuming there’s a funny bone, where would it be located?
In unmentionable places. But for want of propriety, it should be located between the ears and behind the eyes.
The weirdest thing you’ve been told about your laughter?
Actually I’ve become so used to it over the last six years, I’ve heard it all. Every comment, criticism is valid.
One song that defines you?
Dekho dekho ye hai jalwa.
A piece of advice you’d give a budding stand-up comic?
Comedy has to be effortless. The moment you try too hard to be funny, you’ll fall flat. But it takes effort to seem effortless.
Place of birth
Convent of Jesus and Mary, Dehradun; Lady Shri Ram College, New Delhi
Mr Ya Mrs (1980s sitcom by Jalal Agha)
Low point of my life
I guess when I had to leave home and come to Bombay. I was homesick and had to deal with it
High point of my life
The birth of my kids
Currently i am...
5 FUNNY MOVIES EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH
Not Now, Darling
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
The Bird Cage
Chupke Chupke (1975)
From HT Brunch, June 9
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