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HindustanTimes Sat,20 Dec 2014
Rules of the Game
Shaoli Rudra, Hindustan Times
September 20, 2013
First Published: 17:38 IST(20/9/2013)
Last Updated: 11:44 IST(22/9/2013)
Indian actress Kirron Kher accepts an award for best supporting actress for her performance in Rang De Basanti at the 2007 Bollywood Film Awards in Uniondale, New York on May 26, 2007.

The Bollywood screen mommy is just as epic as her offspring. Her unending love for her beta and his unwavering loyalty to his ma is the stuff that wonderfully memorable dialogues are made of (it’s also what real life is made of; all desi boys are mummy’s boys). Aur agar tumne ma ka doodh peeya hai, then go try some of these on your mom!

Define MAAAA. (10 marks)
Rahul: Ma woh hai jo humko itna pyaar karti hai ki kabhi kabhi hum khud uss pyaar ko samajh nahin paate hai. Ma woh hai jo humko ehsaas dilati hai ki hum kitne acche hai… ki humse accha koi nahin. Ma woh hai jiski khushi humari hansi se hai, jiska dukh humare dukh se hai. Ma woh hai jiske bina hum ji nahin sakte. Ma sab kuch hai.

Testing your mother’s patience
Birju: Tu mujhe nahin maar sakti. Tu meri ma hai!
Radha: Mein pehle ek aurat hoon. *BOOM*

Prem: Ye fark nahin toh aur kya hai, ma? Sautelapan Vivek bhaiyya ne nahin, tumne nibhaya hai!
Mamta: *SLAP*

My mommy strongest
Guru: Yahi toh tamanna thi ki mujhe bhi maarne wali koi ma ho, jo daant kar mujhe chaanta maare aur ro kar mujhe seene se laga de. Itne badnaseeb hai woh log, ma, jinhe ma ka pyaar nahin milta.
Vijay: Aaj mere paas gadi hai, bangla hai, paisa hai…tumhaare paas kya hai? Ravi: Mere paas ma hai!

The sad, intense ma wali line
Vijay: Jisne pachchees saal se apni ma ko thoda thoda marte dekha ho, use maut se kya darr?
Salim: Woh aapka doodh jo khoon bankar meri raghon mein ji raha hai, kahiye toh woh sab aapki kadmon mein baha doon.

Crazy stalker-ish mum
Rahul: *must wag finger* Aeh Ma…mere aane se pehle tumhe hamesha kaise pata chal jaata hai?

Blaming it all on mA

Mummy: Tu ek din jaroor hero banega, mere raja! Ye mera dil kehta hai…ek ma ka dil!
Om Prakash Makhija: Arre bhaad mein gaya ‘ma ka dil’, ma! Kyunki iss naam ke saath iss janam mein toh main hero nahin ban sakta. Bas junior artist ki naukri karte karte mar jaoonga main!

Mummy I'm gay
Sam: Ma…..
Ma: *SLAP SLAP SLAP* Na main tujhe itni chhoot deti…na tu aisi galtiyaan karta… (pyar) itna andhaa bhi nahin hota ki ladka aur ladki mein farak hi na dikhai de!
Sam: Maaa... meri baat toh sun lo, maaaa

That Mother India feeling

Captain Bhairon Singh: Hum to kisi ki dharti par nazar tak nahi daalte! Par itne nalayak bacche bhi nahi hai saabji, ki koi hamari dharti ma par nazar daale aur hum chup-chaap dekhte rahe.

Bharat: Zameen toh ma hoti hai... aur ma ke tukde nahi kiye jaate.

The Usual Suspects
“Ma mujhe aashirwad do”
“Ma, tumhaare aashirwaad se main aaj BA FIRST class mein pass ho gaya!”
“Ma mujhe teri kasam…main (insert villain’s name) se pitaji ke khoon ka badla loonga”

From HT Brunch, September 22

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