No, I'm not referring to Frank Sinatra's song. Okay, maybe he inspired the title of my poem, but that's about it. This doesn't read like his song, only an actual dilemma that I find myself in. Always have.
Love is stupid, extremely stupid. And juvenile. And naive. See, it's not that I hate love (was that an oxymoron?). I just think it's highly overrated. Like how marriage is. And they don't deserve as much merit.
Love makes you do stupid things, makes you believe in stupid things, makes you believe there's a Utopian world out there, where everything is perfect. Obviously it's not so.
You need to fall in love with the 'right' person, or the person who's right for 'you'. The time has to be perfect, the location has to be perfect... Like they say, "to be in right place at the right time". Now isn't that foolish? I don't mean to think and fall in love, but I don't mean to pin all my hopes or my entire life onto this four-letter word. Love makes you dependent, love makes you answerable to someone, and sometimes, it makes you feel miserable.
Having been in love, having met people who were not worth my love might have made me cynical. Nevertheless, I stick to what I said in the beginning, love is stupid. And this poem sums it up in the best way I could manage.
He smiled ever so sweetly
And my heart melted instantly
He had no intentions as such I guess
But I had already turned my life into a mess
I spent all my time only with him
Indulging almost all of his whims
I have no answer to why I acted so
Perhaps I just wanted to know
To know him inside out
Be the one for him if he were ever in doubt
I succeeded to a certain extent
And he knew how much (to me) he truly meant...
You know the silly feeling, right?
Where there's no room for hatred or spite
And all the time that he was around
I thought it was true love I had found
The constant butterflies in my stomach
The sudden bolt of lightning that left me dumbstruck
I thought I knew the words, when actually that's untrue
And then the horrible truth descended that I had to bid adieu
Whatever happened, I began to wonder
And sat down to pen my thoughts, becoming a faux writer
But a nagging doubt remained in my mind
The answer to it, seemed hard to find
I finally mustered the courage and asked my friend
"Tell me, is this love? And please don't pretend".
She only laughed, and said, "My dear, you might not agree
But this is nowhere near love, it's only stupidity."
From HT Brunch, September 23
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