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HindustanTimes Thu,17 Apr 2014

Phonetically challenged

Sumedha Deo, Hindustan Times  Mumbai, July 21, 2012
First Published: 13:49 IST(21/7/2012) | Last Updated: 14:07 IST(21/7/2012)

Ever since Amitabh Bachchan said, ‘I can walk English, I can talk English’, Bollywood has been spouting the Queen’s language in  songs. We look at seven recent gems that mangled the language beyond recognition.

Bring It On…Jaana Ab Toh Forever
Ta Ra Rum Pum (2007)
When a song has an over-aged Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukerji dressed like teenagers and dancing at a warehouse party, you know you can’t have high hopes. But this one manages to takes things to a new low by opening with a cringe-worthy rap  that goes ‘ain’t nobody got it goin’ better, than my chica girl’.

ABBG, TPOG…
Kuch Naa Kaho (2003)
Before Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan got hitched, they indulged in some dumb defiling of English alphabets. ‘ABBG, TPOG, IPKI, UPOG’.

What Is Mobile Number?
Haseena Maan Jayegi (1999)
We see Govinda talking on two clunky cell phones simultaneously and the song opens with a phone ring. Out of nowhere walks in a sexily-dressed Karisma Kapoor, thus completing the setting for this awesome number (no pun). 

White, White Face Dekhe
Tashan (2008)
Combining English with hinterland chic, this song saw the actors Kareena Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan and Akshay Kumar dancing in a desert, dressed like characters from a Quentin Tarantino movie. We love, sasuraa.

My Name Is Lakhan
Ram Lakhan (1989)
Before finding fame in MI4, Anil Kapoor was a regular tapori, responsible for making the Aryabhata nation mathematically challenged. What he meant then was as indecipherable to us as his faux-American accent these days.

Do Me A Favour, Let’s Play Holi
Waqt: The Race Against Time (2005)
Musical jugalbandis about Holi are a sureshot hit in Bollywood. Waqt came up with this priceless jewel. Priyanka Chopra, in a clingy, wet salwaar kameez, starts with a traditional Holi song and Akshay Kumar responds with a completely nonsensical ‘do me a favour, let’s play Holi’. Like they weren’t all covered in gulaal already.

A-B-C-D…
Hum Saath Saath Hain (1999)
Call it lazy writing, but Rajshri’s mega-family drama took Indians back to kindergarten. After going through the 26 alphabets, the whole family sings ‘I love you’ together. Here’s one family that surely loves their letters!

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