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HindustanTimes Sat,02 Aug 2014

What kind of lover are you?

ANI   February 04, 2013
First Published: 14:23 IST(4/2/2013) | Last Updated: 13:41 IST(5/2/2013)

There are six different ways you can be “in love” and knowing your style can help you evaluate your relationship, say experts.

Susan Hendrick says knowing what kind of lover you are will help you have more realistic expectations about how love happens for you and how it evolves, according to Fox News.

Here are some descriptions to find your personal style, and learn how you can keep your relationship healthy and happy.

The first is the romantic, who love being in love.
If you are one of this you may be swept away by your new lover’s looks or other appealing physical attributes and disappointed when he change over time. But remember that true love doesn’t recede with his hairline, and romance doesn’t have to fade as the relationship matures. To keep your relationship healthy plan dates, weekend getaways, or just-the-two-of-you vacations to rekindle the spark that ignited your relationship, suggests Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and relationship expert for Perfectmatch.com.

The second is the list-maker.
You have criteria that are important, and you won’t change them, Schwartz said. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, you may put too much pressure on your partner to live up to your standards. In this case, the best thing to keep your love life happy is let go of the list. Schwartz warns that clinging to those must-haves could mean a chafed relationship or a lonely life.

Next is the obsessive.
Here you want to spend all your time with your partner. And you constantly worry about your relationship, even when you’ve been together for years. Schwartz says this kind of partner can be overbearing or have highs and lows that drive her significant other crazy. Don’t crowd your lover, Schwartz suggested. You may need to talk to a counselor who can help you understand why you feel so insecure and help you find ways to put your relationship in perspective, she noted. On the other hand the giver may give more than you get. You’re constantly working selflessly to meet your partner’s needs, but you’re not looking after you. To keep your relationship healthy it’s important to have a life outside of your marriage. Develop your own interests, cultivate your own friendships, and reserve time to do things you like to do-without your partner, suggest Schwartz.

The player love courtship.
You’re easily bored in long-term relationships, though, and your eye may roam. To cure is avoid situations that could lead to affairs. “Don’t have a drink with that interesting colleague. Take temptation out of your life,” Schwartz said. Instead of looking for excitement outside your relationship, try doing new things (salsa dancing, anyone?) with your partner, so you can see him in a fresh light, she suggested.

If you are the pal, love seems to creep up on you.
One day you think, “Wow, I’ve really been spending a lot of time with Jack,” then realize you’re in love. In the long term, your relationship may be quiet, but it’s strong. In this case, don’t let your thing get too platonic. “You need moments of romance,” Schwartz said. Planning a special dinner for two or just planting a passionate kiss on him once in a while shows your partner (and reminds you, too) that you think he’s sexy and exciting, she added.

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