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HindustanTimes Wed,03 Sep 2014

Buy him heels if he’s shorter, advises Cyrus

Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times  Mumbai, March 11, 2013
First Published: 17:59 IST(11/3/2013) | Last Updated: 18:09 IST(11/3/2013)

Just write to Uncle Cy. And I’ll give you some relief…. err… that is, provided, I’m not doing a headstand at the time.

I am 17 and my girlfriend is 16. Her parents are planning to send her to the US for further studies. She’s very excited to move there and doesn’t seem to care about the fact that we won’t be together. When I talk to her about our relationship, she says it’s too early to think about it. I know we have another year together, but the fact that she won’t be with me in the future is so unsettling. I don’t know how to react. Please help.
—Asad Khan

Asad, I am 41 and my wife is also 41. Of course this has no relevance to your problem. I just liked your introduction, which I believe is straight out of the hit musical, Sound Of Music. I have studied your case in my usual thorough manner, by which I mean I read through it quickly and skipped every alternate line. Sadly, I think she has made up her mind. Her studies and the USA are more important to her. Anyway since you love her, try putting down what you really feel on paper. If she still stands firm please learn to accept defeat in love gracefully. And don’t feel too bad, you’ve lost to a super power: The USA

I am 17 and I am in love with a guy I met online.  My height is 5’3” and he is shorter than me. I want him in my life. Can height and weight cause problems when we are seen together?
—Kate K
Kate, what a silly question. Just buy him a pair of heels or, whenever you’re together, dig a ditch in the ground for yourself. Your height will matter only when you try to enter nightclubs. So keep your IDs handy. Eva Braun was taller than Hitler, Josephine was taller than Napoleon, and Angelina Jolie is taller than me. Yet, all of these pairs have had terrific romances. Height and weight are
surmountable problems. Now a unibrow, that’s a different story.

I have a boyfriend but somehow, the other day, I ended up kissing another guy, whom I’ve always had a crush on. Both of them are really nice and sweet. What do I do?
—Kavya
Kavya, take the six-day test. On Monday, kiss the boyfriend; Tuesday, the crush. Keep alternating between the two until Saturday. Sunday take rest. On Monday, see who you feel like kissing. That’s the one that you truly love. If you find that too extreme, give yourself a talk (don’t do this in public or people will stare) Ask yourself why you’re kissing your crush. Maybe you’re missing something here, which is causing all the mixing. Maybe it’s time to move on.

I am 17 and have been in love with a guy for the past three years. He wants to break up, but I haven’t given him my answer so far. He pretends to hate me, but I know he cares. What do I do?
—Disha Das
Disha, thanks to you I’ve started drinking again. Your letter is very confusing. He wants to break up, and is waiting for your answer? That’s doesn’t make sense. To break up, you need only one willing partner. How do you know he’s just pretending to hate you? Whatever the details are, be honest with him. Until then, he, you and me are on different pages.

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