inclined towards) the little discoveries that I make in my attempt to see that which is not tangible but more real than what is. I really do look forward to hearing from whosoever wishes to write back to me about one's own feelings on the 'subject'. The link for writing back is given right below my own account. I hope to write to you every Wednesday and Saturday.
It had been more than three years since my friend (I will call her Ashi from now on) and I had undergone that 'spirit' experience (though obviously she had experienced it far more intensely than I had). But then time, as they say, is a great healer and as we travel from one lap of time to another, we lose touch with the past - a much needed tool for survival of course!
So, in as much as that experience had served as a curtain raiser to the unseen dimension, the humdrums of life had taken our attention away from it...
This was year 1997, sometime towards the fag end of April. My parents had gone abroad but since my cousin sister had been staying at our place for further studies I didn't need to go anywhere for the fear of being alone. As it happened, Ashi decided to come over for the night just for the heck of it. We had dinner, watched TV, discussed our love life and other existential problems and then decided to sack.
My cousin slept in her room and Ashi and I in the other. Lights switched off, we were trying to get hold of sleep. Just as I was lying in the bed I felt this strong, exceptionally strong presence in the air and boy was it negative - it was horribly and awfully negative. For some reason I felt that whatever it was, it had come for me... I felt that hideous thing looking at me and smiling in an evil manner. I felt life ebbing away, being sucked out of me. "Oh boy, am I going crazy or something? What is happening here, why am I feeling this way?"
My struggle to keep this feeling to myself was getting to be difficult. I wanted to get up, switch on the lights and tell Ashi about it. I wanted to run away from the room but then I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was true or just a figment of my imagination. I didn't unnecessarily want to bother Ashi and consequentially my cousin. So I continued to lie in the bed and silently fight against that oppressive presence, hoping that it would go away and then I heard Ashi ask, "Meghs, are you fine?"
"Ya, why do you ask?" I didn't want to pre-empt anything and so I had resisted the urge to tell her the truth.
"I feel something is not right with you. I feel something very negative in the room. Remember how we used to feel during those days in second year. It's the same feeling again Meghs and I am really scared but for some reason I am more scared for you," she sounded very nervous and had gripped my hand very tightly.
"Oh shit! I didn't tell you fearing that I was imagining it all but now I am sure that it is here and it is here for me. It is very strong Ashi and it is drawing my strength away. I feel as if I am going to die," I said. I was scared but at the same time I was intrigued. What was this about after all?
"Meghs, get out of this room!" and saying this, Ashi took my hand, helped me out of the room and we both went and sat in the kitchen.
"I will make tea... you just sit here and relax, OK?" she said gently.
As I was sitting I 'felt' someone call me from that room. There was this strong pull, this sinister pull, that dark, sinister smile, smirking and calling me to fight it, throwing a challenge at me, 'Come and see if you can fight me' it seemed to be saying.
I was getting angrier by the moment, getting firmer in my resolve to go back to the room and facing that darn thing. Just as I was building up on my courage Ashi said, "Don't even think of going back to the room. Just don't pay attention to it."
"How did you know that this is what I was feeling, that I was about to go that room? What's happening?" I was absolutely bewildered and my heart was rocking inside me.
"I don't know Meghs. I am just feeling it all very strongly," was all that she said.
I felt like drinking water and so got up to go towards the fridge in the dining hall, which is attached to that particular room. Ashi, who was holding her cup of tea, came after me since she suspected that I just might get drawn towards the room again. As I stood next to the fridge I felt that strange prickly feeling on my neck again. "Oh God Ashi, something is really wrong in that room, something really evil," I said nervously, looking at that room. "Meghs, just get into the kitchen again. Stop looking there, just get out of this corner," and just as Ashi was saying these lines I felt the air around me getting heavy, oppressive and then suddenly, a cold chill, a strong current of energy went down my spine and threw me against the wall.
"Oh God, oh God!" was all I was able to murmur, my body shaking with fear. My knees were giving away.
"Meghs, what happened, what happened Meghs?" Ashi was paranoid.
"It's gone … it's gone but it went through me. I felt it in my body for a second," I said wearily.
Ashi wrapped me in her arms, sat me down and made me have tea. "Meghs, why does it happen to us?"
"I don't know Ashi. I really don't know."
We couldn't sleep that entire night; we were far too shaken up for that. But the worse part was that it was not over for me yet. Not that I was visited by a spirit again but that particular entity had left its mark behind which was to haunt me in my dreams for another three years or more until my mother-in-law took me to a man who knew how to deal with such affairs. But let us keep that for Saturday, October 4.
P.S. As I was pondering over the above column that I just finished writing (it is exactly 1711 hours IST), I realised that I have ended on a very negative note today. This makes me uncomfortable, as my intention is to reach out to as many people as possible and tell them about the positive force of the Cosmos, the awesome power of that positive force. So please, do know in your heart that the negative phase I went through was temporary - it was only a small but nonetheless integral part of the Divine Scheme. It was a small clue leading me to look for something much bigger and much brighter; it has only 'served' to push me to where I am today - happier and content in the knowledge that I am on my way Home.
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