PIRANHA 3DD
Direction: John Gulager
Voices: Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush
Rating: 1/2*
Even if one overlooks the creepy CGI-created critters by an extra-generous suspension of disbelief, Piranha 3DD is one of the most obnoxious
films in recent memory. A sequel to the 2010 chomp-fest (itself a remake of a 1978 monster/horror spoof), the unabashedly sleazy follow-up gives the exploitation genre a bad name.
The superfluous script revolves around a gaggle of skimpily-clad teenagers who (as if you couldn’t guess) fall prey to a horde of ravenous man-eating fish.
With consistent sloppiness we are introduced to characters who merely serve as items on the menu for the titular nasties. There’s a corrupt local cop, babes with inflated bosoms, besides an assortment of college-age hotties.
Also in the mix is the avaricious entrepreneur responsible for all the bloody mayhem and his stepdaughter (Panabaker) who struggles to keep visitors to their water park from becoming fish food. A few relatively big-name actors like Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rhames and Baywatch celebrity David Hasselhoff strive in vain to inject some humour into the proceedings.
3DD or not, Piranha plumbs rock bottom and is extremely tedious to sit through. For once, then, we should be grateful to our censors for snipping a few minutes from this Z-grade trifle.