If there was an advertisement for the post of the President of India, what would the qualifications be? This is a trick question and one which you dear reader should steer clear of. But we who rush in where angels fear to tread will try. The latest to throw his hat in the ring is Purno Sangma, former speaker, who has now been packaged as the first potential tribal president. There are tribals and tribals, so who will he represent? Won't tribals who are not from Mr Sangma's tribe be up in arms? We have resolved the gender debate by getting Pratibha Patil into office. But what of transgenders, do such people not have the right to the highest office? Perhaps a presidential pageant could be held and the contestants could strut their stuff on the ramp and the people could phone in their choices as is done on television opinion polls. We could ask people beforehand what kind of contestants would be eligible to walk the ramp. Should they be vegan lest Maneka Gandhi put a stop to the show featuring meat and milk consumers?
If the aspirants are tall, this may risk offending the vertically challenged. If they have centrist or right-wing views, Prakash Karat may see red. If they favour same sex marriages as dear old Obama has done, they might risk a slap on the wrist and other body parts from the custodians of cultural purity like Pravin Togadia.
And if representation is the issue, we editorial writers would like one of us to be considered for the job. After all, we slave away to interpret events for you and surely that is a useful talent when it comes to interacting with foreign dignitaries. Also, ensconced in the salubrious surrounding of the presidential mansion, one of our tribe, to use that word loosely, may come up with more inspired editorials. If you have any candidate in mind, don't hesitate to drop us a line. Variety is really the spice of life.