Advertisement

HindustanTimes Thu,17 Apr 2014

Khushwant Singh

Republic Days
Khushwant Singh
February 11, 2013
First Published: 00:43 IST(11/2/2013)
Last Updated: 00:49 IST(11/2/2013)

As I sat wrapped up in woollen shawl with a fire and an electric heater to help me warm on a very chilly Republic Day to watch the Parade down Rajpath, I wondered what the scene would have been like if the mutineers, as the British called them, Freedom Fighters as we honour them, had won the day.  For one, we would not have celebrated it as the Republic we call ourselves but a monarchy ruled over by one of the descendants of Bahadur Shah Zafar.  We would have celebrated the birthday of one of his descendants according to the Hijri Calendar, not the Roman as we do today.  The Hijri is shorter than the Roman. So the Coronation Day would have come in different seasons.  Nevertheless, it is a good excuse to pay home to the last Mughal Emperor Bahadur Shah Zafar ( b. 1775) who died in exile in Rangoon in 1862.  He was a better poet i.e lover of life he had a vast harem of beauties to keep him happy in his marble palace in the Red Fort, overlooking the Yamuna.

I quote some of his poems translated by me :
Khuda Na Dekha vo kaheen jalva
Jo Dekha Khaana-e-dil mein
Bahut masjid mein sar maara
Bahut sa doonda butkhaana

No where did I see the splendour
That I saw in the cave of my heart
Many times I dashed my head in the mosque
Many times in the temple of idols Him I sought

Aadmi aur Khuda
 
Zafar aadmi usko na jaaniyega voh ho kaisa hee
Saahab-e-fahm-o-zakaa ka
Jisey aish mein yaad-e-khuda na ranee
Jisey aish mein khauf-e-khuda na rahaa

O Zafar : know him not as a man,
However clever, wise, benign;
Who in pleasure's pursuit forgets his God,
In anger's passion, wrath divine.

In a mood of depression, he wrote about himself

Na kisee kee aankh ka nor hoon
Na kisee key dil ka qaraar hoon
Jo kisee key kaam na aa sakey
Main vo ek musht-e-ghubaar hoon.

I am not the light of anyone's eye
I am not the comfort of anyone's heart
Of no use to anyone am i:
I am just a fistful of dust.

Sex Problem
On May 1, 2010, plaintiff was riding his 1993 motorcycle, equipped with a Corbin-Pacific seat.  The ride lasted approximately two hours each way to plaintiff's destination, after which plaintiff developed a severe case of priapism ( a persistent lasting erection).  Plaintiff alleges that this condition was caused by the ridge-like seat on his motorcycle, negligently designed manufactured or installed by defendants. ( BMW of north America and Corbin-Pacific).

"Plaintiff now suffers from priapism, and has been experiencing continuing problems since his motorcycle ride.  He is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish.  Plaintiff is distraught and distressed because of this.  Defendants are liable to plaintiff due to their negligent, design, manufacture and/ or installation of the seat on plaintiff's motorcycle.

"Plaintiff seeks damages for lost wages, personal injury, medical expenses, product liability and negligent infliction of emotional distress 

(courtesy private Eye, London)

King Fissure
One time Vijay Mallya had piles of cash, now the cash is gone and only piles remain. This condition is medically called King fissure.

Notice on a Temple wall
Please do not leave your spouse alone in crowded areas… if they get lost you may mistakenly think it is an answer to your prayers.

Two difficult things to achieve:
To plant your ideas in someone else's head.
To put someone else's money in your own pocket.
No one who succeeds in the first one is called a Teacher.
And the second is called a Businessman
The one who succeeds in both is called a wife.
The one who fails in both is called a Husband!!
(contributed by Vipin Buckshey, Delhi)


Advertisement
Copyright © 2014 HT Media Limited. All Rights Reserved