Hi, I have a big problem. I am sexually attracted towards my sister-in-law. She is very beautiful and hard to resist. She got married and I am not able to tolerate whenever she is sitting with her husband. I always try to hide my emotions but its very difficult.. Please help me how can I overcome from this situation.
- asks
abc
Oct 16 2008 1:37:56
The problem is no doubt big but may I be allowed to deflate your ego by saying that it’s actually very common. Men tend to fantasize about their sisters-in-laws and it cuts across caste, colour, creed, region and religion. The male stag mentality forces men to believe that they can and should lord over as many women as they can. I don’t know about your case but it happens mostly when the women you have married is the eldest or her other sisters aren’t much elder or younger to her and also they are single. When at a later date they too get into a relationship generally the brother-in-law feels his monopoly over their attention challenged and hence the insecurity and jealousy. So much for the explanation now lets get down to operative part of it. LAY OFF. Just concentrate on your wife and let your sister-in-law be with her man. It would serve you well to enjoy your fantasy but if that fantasy starts spilling into reality then you have a situation at hand my friend.
PS: And yes you won’t be able to handle it. So just keep your cool and get on with life.
- by
Agony Aunt
|
I am 23 year old, engineer working in Chandigarh but my girlfriend works in Delhi so she misses me and always complaints that I am not with her that I have left her lonely we know each other since college time, things were good in college but after that it feels like everything has gone wrong. Now days we fight so much that it leaves me very sad and lonely I feel helpless. We both are from different communities her parents agreed to our marriage but I haven't told mine I will soon tell my parents. This makes her and her parents very insecure. Moreover I don’t know the reason but I have lost interest in everything I tend to turn away from everything. Please help me I am clueless…
- asks
anonymous
Oct 15 2009 9:20:27
Frequent fights have drained you of your passion towards her. After initial attraction when the reality of everyday life set in you were rudely awakened. But my dear in every relationship you will have difference of opinion and little fights no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Also why didn’t you tell your parents about the girl in your life or you want to marry her. Now if you have doubts about a long term relationship with her than tell her that and end the agony on both the sides. Don’t let her and her parents hang fire. At least you can do that much. But remember every love story will one day meet reality and will have to adjust itself to it. So my suggestions is that you should revive your old passion for the same woman and reassure her and her parents that you would marry her. Actually most of the complaints are nothing but a reflection of her insecurity regarding your stand on marriage and future together.
- by
Agony Aunt
|
I am a married man with two children. I am 40 years old. Some times I think like a teenager fantasizing about women other than my wife. But truly I have not even kissed anybody other than my wife. AM I GUILTY? I am looking into GOD for answer to my behaviour. Please say something about this...
- asks
Anonymous
Oct 7 2009 7:45:33
Don’t bother god with such small matters as he already has his (or her who knows) hands full. That you still fantasise like a teenager is nothing wrong. Mind has a tendency to wander and it adds spice to your life and also shows that you are a young and healthy male who still retains his youthfulness. But don’t get too carried away by your fantasies and desist from making it a reality (surely not with any other women). But you are free to make your wife a partner in your fantasy by sharing it with her. If, of course, she’s ready to oblige you.
- by
Agony Aunt
|
I am 24 years old girl doing Post Graduation in Ahmedabad and is living with my grand parents who live there after retirement. My grand parents are very loving, caring and sweet natured and love me too much. They are 60+ and are in good health and are really very active. One day I came home early from my college in the noon and entered the bedroom of my grand parents where I had free access all the time. I was shocked to see that my grandpa and grandma were doing intercourse fully naked and grandpa was giving really hard strokes to grandma. Immediately they also saw me standing there and looking at them. They immediately left for other room and came back with clothes on their bodies. We all three were really in the state of awkwardness. Though I fully understand that they were not doing a sin and it is their life to fully enjoy, but I saw them and they saw me in such position, makes us all really disturbed. They hesitate to see me eye to eye though I do not mind. Please guide me as to how I should tackle them. If I speak to them on this point, I am afraid they may think in negative about me whereas I have full sympathy for them. Please help.
- asks
Maneesha
Sep 30 2009 12:48:50
Go about your life and keep talking to them as you did before this incident. Next time, be more careful when entering their room. The incident shows that you are no more a kid and they aren’t old enough to enjoy marital bliss. So be careful and behave as if everything is ok. Time will remove this awkwardness.
- by
Agony Aunt
|
Hey...I have a best friend who is in love with a guy, who also happens to be my good friend. Now this guy likes me and flirts around with me, which makes my best friend furious. The guy knows that I don't feel the same way about him and is OK with that but wants me to continue our friendship, which is what I want as well. He also knows that my best friend likes him but he doesn't feel the same way about her and has hinted her about this. My best friend has also given him hints only and never told him directly that she loves him. Both of them mean a lot to me as friends. Now this guy has brought me a project option that I really want to do and would be very helpful to me career-wise. However this project involves spending time with him. I would love doing this project and chances of getting a project like this again seem difficult. My best friend, however, hates this idea because she thinks that the guy will never like her back unless I go away from them and therefore does not want me to go ahead with this project. She also wants me to stop talking to him, which is a little hard for me because I do consider the guy a good friend and I know that he'll be hurt if I do that without any explanation.
- asks
Saloni
Sep 9 2009 5:37:43
If you are clear about your limits vis a viz him and he knows his limits vis a viz you than it doesn’t matter how that other girl thinks about the project and your proximity to this guy. She is insecure as well as unclear. Let her be with herself if she deals with her stupidity, fine and she can’t than its her problem. You behave in your usual mature way and if you stick to your rules things would work out just fine.
- by
Agony Aunt
|