Everything is now linked to climate change. The reason why India won against the  Aussies on Saturday in Delhi can be seen to have been caused by unnaturally high levels of dust particles in the air caused by an Arctic ice-shelf melting on Thursday. The reason why you woke up later than you were supposed to was because the butterfly that was supposed to flap its wing in the Amazon and create a storm in Ontario is dead thereby making your room more comfortable than usual. It now turns out that greenhouse gas emission that has been worsening the monsoon in India (try telling that to people in drought-hit Madhya Pradesh) is responsible for milk becoming more expensive — less rains means less fodder for cows to munch on means less milk from cows. So we have bad news for the lactose-tolerant: Mother Dairy toned and full cream milk will now cost Re 1 and Rs 2 more.

But that’s not the full tragic story. Akhadas across the country are already wearing a weak look with wrestlers wondering where their next steel glass of cream-topped milk will come from. Coming as this news does only a few months before our athletes participate in the Commonwealth Games in Delhi, medal tally forecasts for India are already down. As a result of milk costing more, nervous sports officials who have promised a decent medal haul are already being suspected of ensuring that preparations for the Games are slowed down.

So there you are: if the Commonwealth Games don’t happen in Delhi, you know what to blame. No silly, not lazy cows, but Earth-destroying humans.