Belonging to an exceptionally religious family, I grew up to be quite the opposite. I rebelled against all the beliefs my parents tried to instill in me. So, when
conversations in office revolved around spiritual awakening, I always cracked jokes on the subject. In return, they collectively
cracked the biggest joke on me by sending me on this spiritual misadventure. Here’s my daily diary.Day 1
Playing Devil’s Advocate
My first dose of spirituality was strong, to say the least. My morning was to be spent with a hypnotherapist, Nirmala Jain, who worked with regression therapy. As I sat across from her, I felt like I was being investigated for a crime. She poked me with questions that left me wanting to be hypnotised. In the two-hour talk, I felt like I was on my deathbed, scrolling through my life in flashback mode. I blabbered endlessly about a fractured past, low self-esteem and trust issues. The idea was to
highlight the problems in my life and address them. And I actually spoke of things I never talk about. Possibly I was greedy for a healing session. But the end result was that I awakened all the sleeping demons in my mind, till it looked like I had a disturbed childhood, a screwed-up school life and troubled college years. I left with the agony of all the pain I possibly never had!Things I was told to do:
1. She gave me her own example of being one with nature, in a way that even squirrels could not differentiate her from the trees! I was amused by this very story; I decided to go for a long winter walk that evening. Came back freezing!
2. Also, while talking to her, I came across as someone confused to the core. She told me not to say, “I don’t know”. And, when I made a conscious effort to avoid the phrase, I uncontrollably puked it all over my conversations.Day 2
Another Day,Another Healer
I met Anita Gandhi, whose forte is pranic healing. She took me through an hour-long class about the physics and meta-physics of her craft. Then she went on to scan my aura, and nailed it! She told me that energy completely dips on my left arm (it had been hurting for the past one week), that my lungs are weak (I have a breathing ailment) and that I was hungry (embarrassing and true). Soon, she started my pranic healing with crystals, and what came out of the analysis was that I have a restless mind. I agreed. My crown chakra (the energy source at the top of your head) is very active, meaning I am headstrong. And I agreed. She told me I’m not stable. I agreed again. Then she said my madness is what makes me special. This time, I laughed.Things I was told to do
1. As homework, I couldn’t say “no” to anything. I was to experience everything and only then decide. I exited her house and saw seven missed calls from my mom. When I called back, she had a marriage proposal for me. I couldn’t say “no” or “I don’t know”. And people ask me if I enjoyed this week (sigh).Day 3
Is this about the mind or the body?
I stepped out for yet another session. Today, I was to tackle old-school meditation, Isha Foundation style. When I entered the Foundation, I was introduced to a swami in pure white clothes. The swami briefly explained the philosophy of the foundation, after which I was taken into a larger hall to learn Suryanamaskar. I struggled with my supremely non-flexible body, as our photographer snapped away with barely concealed laughter.Things I was told to do
1. Suryanamaskar, 21 times a day for at least 40 days. Now, realistically and seriously, this is too much effort to reach any kind of spiritual awakening.
2. To listen to a guided meditation CD “I’m not this body, I’m not even this mind”. I did listen, for about five minutes, then slept peacefully for 15 hours.Day 4
A bit like fantasy
I took an appointment with Rachna Mehra, a Theta healer; it’s a healing that works on correcting one’s belief system. She removed negative viruses from my
system. She also downloaded happiness, unconditional love and forgiveness etc into me. The idea seems very futuristic, downloading goodness in the human system. But I’m not sure if it worked for me. Then she saw my future, a big conference hall, which was interpreted as a promotion! (So I hope my boss reads this story carefully.)Things I was told to do
A meditation where you imagine energy travelling through the body into space. It was a bit like fantasy.Day 5
Are we done yet?
The last one was flower therapy by Nutan Pandit. I imagined a spa kind of healing with scented flowers everywhere. However, what I got was Dr Bach’s system of flower remedies. Every negative emotion has a remedial solution. And these came with a homeopathy tag to make it more believable. Nutan also did Spiritual Response Therapy for me, which basically meant cancelling the karmas I had pre-decided for myself. She told me she had cancelled a physical torment that was to happen in the near
future, which would have involved my father, an angel and an aunt. I was confused, till I realised she was working on my past lives, present life and future
lives simultaneously! While she did what she believed in, I indulged in a second helping of the cake that was on offer. And it was divine, the homemade cake.Things to do
1. Take a few drops of a medicine with the ingredients being agrimony (cures anxiety), chestnut bud (breaking the pattern of repeating mistakes), honeysuckle (emotional detachment ), wild oat (indecision) and many more.
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