Its fruity flavours

  • Manas Chakravarty
  • |
  • Updated: Dec 01, 2012 21:05 IST

Fruit merchant: I'm overjoyed we have a new party for the Aam Aadmi. But I'm confused about the kind of aam being targeted. Is it the much-hyped but high-end Alphonso, or is it the sweet Langra? Do they have a plan for the delectable Chausa, or is their outfit partial to the popular Dusehri, or could they be settling for the bland Totapuri? The nation wants to know.

Pretty girl: People say I'm a peach. Does that mean I can't join the Aam Aadmi party? The matter is further complicated by the fact that I hold a plum job.

Honey Ryder, from the Bond movie Dr No: Underneath the Mango Tree/Me honey and me can watch for the moon/Underneath the Mango Tree/Me honey and me we plan marry soon.

Brit oldie: Rather fruity, eh, old fruit? Hope they don't go bananas. Or pear-shaped.

Political analyst: I love the way they've taken the wind out of the old Congress slogan, "Congress ka haath, Aam aadmi ke saath." Unfortunately the Congress is now likely to twist it to "Aam Aadmi ka haath, Congress ke saath", which is very confusing.

Sushma Swaraj: The new party has said it will follow the principles of Swaraj. I am flattered.

Mahindra & Mahindra: They aren't talking about Sushma Swaraj at all. The reference was to our Swaraj brand of tractors, which is, as every farmer knows, synonymous with cutting-edge design, reliability and power.

Dalit aam aadmi: I'm willing to give the new party a shot, provided of course they support reservations in promotions.

Radical aam aadmi: Long live the permanent revolution. Bombard the headquarters. Be realistic, demand the impossible.

Tamil Nadu aam aadmi: What the heck does aam aadmi mean? Sounds North Indian. But I admire their crusading moral zeal and my vote will certainly go to them if they can dish out more freebies apart from the free TVs, free fans, free mixer-grinders and free cows that Jayalalithaa gave us.

Below Poverty Line aam aadmi: How many kilos of free rice will the new party give us?

Above Poverty Line aam aadmi: And how many subsidised cooking gas cylinders?

Sceptic: But will they be able to provide the circuses? I have serious doubts about their ability to brawl, shout and throw things in Parliament.

Silly aam aadmi: Aww, they're so cute and cuddly.

Tippler: Man does not live by subsidised rice alone, he also needs cheap alcohol. I'm disturbed by the new party's website asking for details about substance abuse by candidates. Do four pegs a day of cashew feni count as substance abuse? And will we be flogged if we exceed the limit?

Khap panchayat: We are very encouraged by their plan for more powers to the grassroots. We have an ambitious agenda involving inter-caste marriages, honour killings and girl-children.

Farmer: I totally support their plan for higher prices for farm produce.

Consumer: I simply love their promise to make everything cheaper.

Dengue mosquito: I fully support the new party. We dengue mosquitoes must stick together.

Manas Chakravarty is Consulting Editor, Mint
Views expressed by the author are personal


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