Rohit Shetty has made his film career out of defying logic and gravity. He begins with illogical situations, adds senseless jokes to them and then distracts people with exploding and cartwheeling cars. But when you look at the sum of these parts, the film itself, you come up with blockbusters like Chennai Express and the Golmaal franchise. He makes them for people who watch them.
But that’s the thing with formulas – they fail soon enough. Dilwale , to put it mildly, is an epic fail. The film is so ridiculous and dumb, that even Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol cannot rescue it. Made at the cost of Rs 100 crore, it has emerged below par at the ticket windows. Before you blame the political protests for the fiasco Mr Shetty, let us point to the real issue – the film is a disaster.
Frankly, the only scene where people could be heard laughing inside the hall was the one where Varun Dhawan gets to know about Ramlal and Pogo’s love story. Yes, SRK and Kajol are even called by those names in Dilwale! But that’s only one funny sequence and that too because of Mukesh Tiwari who is narrating the story.
Even by Rohit Shetty’s standards, the film is illogical and insane. There is plenty of imbecility in the film but we list eight moments when the director completely killed logic in Dilwale. For those who still want to spend their hard-earned money on the film (are these real people?), let us warn you: Spoilers ahead…
1. Varun Dhawan’s car drifting
Sanjay Mishra calls Mukesh Tiwari ‘Gareebo ka Jackie Shroff’ in the film. Talking in the same lingo, Varun Dhawan is ‘Gareebo ka Vin Diesel’. You cannot stay neutral once you have seen the young actor drifting into the frame as he makes his entry. No we dare not make the comparison. It is the filmmakers. In case you still don’t get it, you have characters saying stuff like, “Ye Fast ho gaya to kya hua, aap furious mat ho.” Mr Shetty, you have heard about trying too hard?
2. Kajol’s slow walk on highway
Kajol definitely makes for the worst and most ridiculous gangster ever. And what’s with the slow walk against the backdrop of explosions?
3. Shah Rukh Khan’s BLIND trust in Kajol
He maybe one of the most dreaded gangsters in Bulgaria but that doesn’t mean SRK’s Kaali is conniving or devious. Kajol’s character accepts SRK’s gang boss as if he is the CEO of a blue chip company or runs an NGO. Hey lady, he said he is a gangster and kills people for a living. Still, no reaction.
4. SRK’s over-dramatic, unbelievable ‘love’ for the younger bro
From Shah Rukh Khan forgiving a thief because he was actually doing it for his younger brother (because ‘jab baat bhai ki ho to insaan dimaag se nahi dil se sochta hai!’) to the side characters talking about the ‘great love’ for his bro, nothing is believable. Not a single moment.
5. Johnny Lever’s accent
Making fun of accents is one of Shetty’s specializations. If by a miracle you have forgotten Basanti’s horrendous south Indian one from Golmaal 3, he gives Johnny Lever with an even worse accent in Dilwale. You can accuse Shetty of bad taste and doing the same thing over and over again. Take your pick.
6. Varun Dhawan trying to tell SRK that he loves Kriti
This is supposed to be super funny: Varun Dhawan wants to ‘kiss’ SRK on his lips and even tells him ‘Mai aapki maang me sindoor bharna chahta hoon’. If that is comedy, Kumar Vishwas should be given lifetime achievement award in the category.
7. SRK-Kajol face-off
In his DDLJ nostalgia trip, did Rohit Shetty totally forget the era he is working in? Will someone please remind him that it’s 2015, not 1980s when dialogues like ‘15 saal beet gae’; ‘15 saal,4 maheena, dus din’ were supposed to be intense and emotionally charged. What are you, Mr SRK? Vijay Deenanath Chauhan?
8. Varun Sharma’s attempt at monologue aka Pyar Ka Punchnama
Rajjo’s monologue at the end of Pyar Ka Punchnama is epic. And so was the monologue in the sequel. But when you make Varun Sharma lecture a girl about the expenditures of an ‘average-looking’ man, the effect is not just unfunny, it is ridiculous.
Have you watched the movie yet? What were the moments you loved and which ones did you hate? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.
Watch: Dilwale has highly predictable storyline and banks on SRK’s stardom