The real hero of EL James' Grey is Christian Grey's genitalia

  • Simar Bhasin, Hindustan Times, New Delhi
  • Updated: Jun 28, 2015 15:19 IST

The recently released Grey by EL James has already become a hit with 1.1 million copies sold in just four days after its release.

However, fans of the Fifty Shades trilogy (author of this piece included) are none too happy with this book that James wrote for those “readers that asked and asked and asked and asked for this”.

The book is written from the viewpoint of the ever mysterious Christian Grey.

In other words James took Fifty Shades of Grey and removed the Fifty Shades from it, literally and figuratively.

Here are a few ‘charmers’ from Grey’s internal monologues...

“I hear her breath hitch and the sound travels directly to my groin.”

“I ask, “Are you hungry?” “Not for food,” she teases. Whoa. She might as well be addressing my groin.”

Wait, here’s more...

“I like my women in skirts. I like them accessible.”

“As she tells me she likes her tea weak and black, for a moment I think she’s describing what she likes in a man.”

What fans -- that “asked and asked and asked and asked” for it -- should have gained from the book told through the eyes of the mysterious billionaire himself, was some insight into the persona that is Grey. However, even details about his troubled childhood are hidden beneath the veils of vagueness.

Attempts at showing his rather ‘philanthropic’ ambitions are belittled by his extensively arrogant, narcissistic monologue.

Even his brother Eliot who is shown to have “a passion for sustainable living” is initially described by Christian as “Mr Love Em and Leave Em”.

The moral of the story: No matter how successful or educated or philanthropic or eco friendly you are, if you are a character in an EL James’ novel, you are bound to be a misogynistic creep.

The real hero of the book, who has been given almost as much attention as Ms Steele herself is, of course, Christian’s genitalia which makes its appearance almost as many times as Anastasia does.

While the previous books had Anastasia Steele refer to her ‘inner goddess’ innumerable times, we have the elusive and charming Mr Grey refer to his genitals as many or even (I didn’t think its possible, but it just might be) more number of times.

And just as you think that he is about to get original (and not mention his sex organs) in his musings about Ana, such as in this line,
“Her body is pressed against mine, and the feel of her breasts and her heat through my shirt is arousing."

He throws another shocker by adding: “She has a fresh, wholesome fragrance that reminds me of my grandfather’s apple orchard.”

Well, to be fair, we did end up getting some insight into Mr Grey’s elusive nature, he is the only guy or rather fictional character that I can think of who can describe in painstaking details, an attractive girl’s anatomy and in the same breath mention his grandfather’s orchards.

The ‘Fifty Shades’ trilogy and it’s subject matter have come under a lot of controversies and criticisms from feminists who regard the books as being offensive to women.

This new addition to the series is different in this case; it is far more offensive to men than it is to women.

Now, the news is that James is planning on making ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ also from Grey’s perspective, well if people end up waiting in lines to buy that book, the day is not far when James decides to re write the trilogy (or copy, paste as she did in this case) from the perspective of Grey’s genitals.

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