Ladies, I understand that most men need a serious crash course in what gets women going and I, in my humble way, am trying to do my part. Men, I understand where you’re coming from (blame it on the anatomy), but there are things you can change (or pretend to change) about yourselves to make everything easier. First dates can be nerve wracking. I don’t know her likes and dislikes, but there are a couple of things I ensure. Listen up.
The Run Up
Though the rugged look is in, no girl wants to date a bum. Before your date, take a nice long shower, trim that nose hair and get rid of the goop nestling in your fingernails and toenails. Great clothes can conceal a lot, but you don’t want to put her off with your body odour when you lean in for a kiss! After your shower, splash on some perfume. Good perfume is almost magical. A dash of it can work wonders on women.
Clothes can be tricky. Some women like their men to be casually dressed while others dig the formal look. I usually go for the semi-casual look. This does not mean I wear a T-shirt with formal pants. That won’t even get you to first base. And those super tight pants with special emphasis on the crotch area? A big no no!
Apart from clean underwear, I usually go for smart, well-fitted jeans, a cool T-shirt or a shirt with a dinner jacket. It gives the illusion of the complete man – fun loving as well as mature. Something about you must scream that you’re loaded and smart shoes do that. I genuinely believe that a man is known by his shoes. So ditch the chappals and go for smart sneakers or formal shoes.
I’ve heard many women say that stubble goes a long way and I kind of agree with that. Stubble makes a man look mature and it works great with younger women. Younger women mostly look for their father in a man and stubble helps you create the illusion of being mature, understanding and caring. Just make sure you don’t look like a sadhu. Ensure that your stubble is neatly trimmed and clean. But if the woman you’re going to meet is older, then a clean-shaven look could work better.
Chest hair is another bone of contention. Let’s say this out loud – we are men and we have chest hair! I think women like chest hair. After all, most women like their men a little wild. Of course, masculinity does not mean that you grow a jungle on your chest. Trim it so it doesn’t peep out between shirt buttons.
And ditch the accessories. Women like their men to look simple, elegant and smart. So get rid of the metal bracelets and wristbands. These things will strike you out.
Let The Game Begin
In all these years, I have realised one thing. Women want to change you, even if you’re straight out of Mills & Boon. Be ready to adapt. Act innocently dumb and she’ll think you’re malleable and adorable. But don’t be a shy momma’s boy. Women like strong, yet vulnerable men, take-home-to-daddy material.
Some men believe that being rude, abusive and brash gets their women thinking. Yes, it does! Not about how great he is or how hot he looks, but about how to get rid of this guy. Confidence is one thing, over-confidence is another. Wipe that smirk off your face and respect the woman you’re with. Humility will take you places where you want to be.
Also, never say the F word. No, not the four-letter one, the three-letter one – fat! Thankfully most men have mastered this art of deception. So when she asks you if she’s looking fat, don’t bat an eyelid, don’t flinch, just say no. It’s better to lie in such circumstances than wind up in bed alone.
A funny thing about women that I absolutely love is their belief that the whole universe revolves around them. When out on a date, let the conversation revolve around her. Let her talk. You are there to listen, nod and agree. If you must say something, talk about how beautiful she is, how wonderful she smells and – a home run remark – how you’ve never met anyone as intelligent as her. Make her laugh and if that means you have to embarrass yourself, then do it. She might just go home with you.
Once at home, there are a couple of things you must remember. Make sure the house is empty. Ensure the sheets are clean and the room is tidy. Make her comfortable and leave your phones outside the bedroom. BBMs, calls and text messages can be checked later.
A critical thing to remember in bed with a woman (apart from her name, that is), is to lock your pets outside the room. You don’t want your pet to jump right in. A friend of mine once had a woman over and things were going wonderfully between the two.
Passionately involved in love-making, he ignored the fact that his Rottweiler was also shacking in his room. It so happened that the dog barked and the startled woman bit. That was not a pretty sight – blood, ambulance, shocked parents and embarrassment.
Another thing most men forget is that lovemaking is a two-way act. Cater to your woman’s needs. A wise man once said (that wise man being me of course), “Be a silver medalist.” Women love silver medalists because they come second! So calculate your run before going for the one big O(ne).
• Happy smile
• Broad shoulders
• Cute butt
• Clean nails
• Elegant clothes
• Smart shoes
• Messy locks
• Smelly socks
• Big talk
• Rude behaviour
• Over confidence
Men, to look good you need to make grooming part of your regular routine. Here’s what you need to know.
• Get rid of extra hair: Shave your stubble and use different brands till you find the right blade for your individual growth pattern. Trim and shape your facial hair (if you have any), define the brows and pluck your ear and nostril hair.
• Exfoliate and clean: Twice a week, use a face scrub to remove dead, dry and flaky skin. To brighten your face, tighten the skin and clean clogged pores, use a natural face masque once a week. Lotus Herbals makes ‘life saving’ face masques.
• Moisturise: Use a water based moisturiser just before you sleep. Wake up to skin that looks fresh and feels soft and hydrated. Try the range from Jergens. There’s little you can do about pimples just before a date, so try and avoid getting them in the first place. To prevent acne, reduce your intake of oily and spicy food and use a toner twice a week to remove excess oil on your face. Regular use of a face masque will keep the pores clean and prevent skin breakouts. Use a scrub to remove blackheads. Garnier makes a good blackhead removing scrub for men.
For body odour and excessive perspiration, use a long lasting deo stick for your armpits and an alcohol free deo spray for your body – Nivea makes some effective personal care products. Finish with a masculine, but not overpowering fragrance. Also, drink at least three litres of water a day. The less the water in the body, the more your sweat will smell.
Use high quality hair styling products – L’Oreal is best. Have a manicure and pedicure before a date.
If you are excessively hairy, thread your brows and cheeks.
And please note: there’s nothing worse than a man using makeup.
Courtesy: Yatan Ahluwalia, Y&E Style Media
If the date is in the evening, go for a smart formal look – a dress shirt, fitted pants and a pair of closed (read round front) shoes combined with a slim belt. For the day, wear clean and well maintained jeans, a full sleeved top or a casual shirt (tucked in) with comfortable walking shoes. For a weekend lunch, wear smart casuals – a white linen shirt, comfort fit trousers and laceless shoes.
Your shoes must match your look. Wear casual shoes with casual wear and formal shoes with formal wear. Wear a comfortable, practical and durable pair – ensure they are clean and well maintained. For formal dressing, the belt and shoes must match. For casual wear, contrast your accessories with your clothes.
Snug fit underwear will ensure your body will get the right posture and your clothes will fit and fall well. Clean, sexy underwear is a must if you think you are going to get lucky. Don’t go commando.
Here are some common dressing mistakes and how you can avoid them.
• Choosing the wrong colours: Wear colours that suit your skin tone. As a general rule, men with dark skin should wear warm colours (brown, white, beige, olive green) and those with pale skin should wear cold colours (purple, blue, grey, red, orange, yellow). Black and white work with all skin tones.
• Not wearing the right fit: Never wear clothes that are too tight or loose. A straight comfort fit will look good.
• Not dressing according to your age: Never try and look ten years younger or older, as the case may be. Be natural.
• Not being dressed for the right season, place or time: Always dress for the weather, time of day and where you will be.
Courtesy: Yatan Ahluwalia, Y&E Style Media
As told to Amrah Ashraf
Photos: Jasjeet Plaha
Shoot coordination: Tavishi Paitandy Rastogi
This story appeared in the Brunch Quarterly, the new lifestyle magazine from Hindustan Times. Out on stands now.
From HT Brunch, September 23
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