Breakfast of Champions: The step-by-step guide to be James Bond

Bond, James Bond: Daniel Craig looks suave as he poses during the photocall at the UK premiere.

Here's your step-by-step guide to be James Bond.

Travel to the classiest destinations without paying a penny, often in your personal jet
Talk impeccably. Be smooth
Have an eye for the right girl
Put the villain’s girl on your to-do list
Then, leave halfway in bed when duty calls
Carry pen bombs
Get a car that doubles up as a hovercraft
Always tip, so you don’t have to say “vodka martini, shaken not stirred” each and every time
Be a bond girl  (this is much harder)
by Rachel Lopez

Have ridiculous names (Pussy Galore, seriously?)
Be somewhat exotic
Have big lips
Have an agenda up your sleeve (or in your cleavage)
Seduce Bond
Then feel  cheated when he outsmarts you (which he will)
Die with your makeup still on

From HT Brunch, November 4

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