Know your ‘isms’

Smart people will always throw big words around. Some are not quite what you think they mean

Absolutism
What it’s not: The belief that one brand of vodka will make you smarter
What it is: Government by a single absolute ruler or authority

AdamAdamitism
What it’s not: Stubborn love for Hannah’s no-good ex-boyfriend on Girls
What it is: Nakedness for religious reasons (Ha!)

Agathism            
What it’s not: Belief that The Mousetrap is the world’s greatest play.
What it is: Using evil for the greater good

Dualism
What it’s not: Idea that two girlfriends are better than one
What it is: Idea that the universe is controlled by one good and one evil force

Emotivism
What it’s not: Reading every letter and punctuation mark as a facial feature on a smiley
What it is: Theory that moral statements are inherently biased

Holism
What it’s not: A chance to feel up girls during the festival of colour
What it is: Looking at parts of everything in relation to the whole

Minimalism
What it’s not: Wearing just your Speedo to work
What it is: Encouragement for the simplest interpretation of an idea or form

CouplePansexualism
What it’s not: Making out in the kitchen while the eggs are frying
What it is: The idea that all thought is derived from sexual instinct

Titanism
What it’s not: Belief that your wristwatch controls the universe
What it is: The spirit of revolt or defiance against social conventions

From HT Brunch, April 7

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