Sexy Angel: Like there can be any other kind? We get it. You are sexy, you know it and you even want to show it. But does it have to be a slapdash job of sticking a furry halo and cheap wings over the dress you didn’t bother to change from your lunch date? Again?
Alternate Costume: Dressing as any of the Disney princesses will allow you to wear less/no clothes (Ariel’s bra is made of sea shells!) while retaining some degree of innovation.
Alternate Costume: Guys: Go as Hellboy. Period. Girls: Go as Anna Wintour. The Devil Wears Prada, get it?
Jack Sparrow or Any Kind of Pirate: Last heard, even Johnny Depp was tired of playing the rum-drinking scallywag and he at least gets paid for it. So, as far as costumes go, this ship sailed a long time ago.
Alternate Costume: Johnny Depp has worn possibly the greatest costumes in movies. Try Edward Scissorhands in Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Benjamin Barker in Sweeney Todd.
Witch/Vampire: What are you, 12? (If you are, what are you doing at booze-ridden parties anyway?) Please don’t show up in a sorry excuse for a pointy hat or a red-line cape. It is not convincing anyone that you are a witch/vampire.
Alternate Costume: The Twilight series has one benefit: they make for the best Halloween costumes. So if you insist on blood-sucking, at least be contemporary. Girls, don’t look further than Morticia Addams from The Addams Family, the coolest witch there’ll ever be.
Alternate Costume: Wanna be bad? Go as Bane, a more current Batman villain or as Walter White. (Watch Breaking Bad, if you still haven’t)
From HT Brunch, October 13
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