A Dilliwallah and a Mumbaikar walk into a bar... excerpts from the conversation
D: Delhi has infrastructure
M: Mumbai has civilisation
D: Delhi has history
M: We do too! Elephanta Caves! Haji Ali
M: These people driving on Delhi roads... it's suicide, I tell you!
D: Your highways are narrower than our footpaths.
M: But that's because you need all that extra space to escape when a car with Haryana plates is chasing you!
D: A study once said Mumbai is the rudest city
M: No, that's Delhi.
D: Arre, hum toh aise hi hai bhaiyya!
M: The local goes everywhere, and everybody travels by the local.
D: Metro, yo!
M: No commuter faints when our trains stop midway.
M: Mumbai has all the new fun jobs. Can you work for a digital agency or OML or cutting-edge PR in Delhi?
D: We're busy cracking the IAS for free lifetime perks.
M: Okay, we don't have a winter. But we don't have that brutal summer either.
D: Mumbai doesn't have a winter, or spring, or autumn. Just the constant smell of fish, sweat and rain.
D: We have the Yamuna, but your sea isn't all that cool.
M: We're too busy sailing, jet-skiing and kayaking to be bothered about that.
Abbe Hindi toh seekh le!
M: A true Mumbaikar will always be able to speak/understand at least one language more than a Delhiite. Tumhala Marathi yeta ka?
M: You Delhiites are so star struck. Bollywood stars for us are just other people in the city.
D: Yeah, and the best in the business are FROM Delhi!
From HT Brunch, December 15
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