Badvertising - Hindustan Times
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Badvertising

Hindustan Times | ByRohan Joshi
Jun 03, 2011 01:45 PM IST

Is there anything to fear when you have the Nazar Suraksha Chakra near? Asks Rohan Joshi. After all, it is an amulet that will protect you and yours from the evil thoughts that your neighbours, family members, jealous "friends" and enemies direct at you...

My internet died the other day, and I was forced to do something unusual. I was forced to watch TV. On TV. Which was weird because I had to suffer through commercial breaks, where I learned that if you don't have an iPhone, you don't have an iPhone. Or the cardiac-arrest-inducing 3G bills that come with it. And that Katrina Kaif is so done with men that she's just going to make-out with seasonal fruit now. And that if the 3G Zoozoo and Ranbir Kapoor had a stand-up showdown, the Chennai Super Kings would win.

I got so sick of the commercial breaks, I couldn't focus on watching a thing, and eventually I fell asleep. And woke up six hours later, at 3 am, after all the good shows, bad shows, and MTV shows had gone to bed. Which left me alone to explore the television equivalent of the Twilight Zone; the world of teleshopping ads.

Teleshopping ads are what happens when advertising gets the India TV treatment; on teleshopping networks the sales-pitch meter gets cranked up from hyperbole to outrageous, and then all the way up to "Wait, did she just say that spy-camera pen + mixie (with juicer) will protect me from the evil eye? At a discount?"

HT Image
HT Image
"Nazar Suraksha Kavach 1" - "Evil Eye Protection. Now with WiFi"
"Nazar Suraksha Kavach 1" - "Evil Eye Protection. Now with WiFi"
"Nazar Suraksha Kavach 2" - "If Cyclops were an Indian woman, he'd totally shoot gold beams out of his eyes"
"Nazar Suraksha Kavach 2" - "If Cyclops were an Indian woman, he'd totally shoot gold beams out of his eyes"
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