Shoved uncomfortably somewhere between the temporal lobe and the cerebellum is a part of our brain that is waiting for you to take a sip of alcohol to unleash its monstrosity. We bring you excerpts from an alcohol-spilled conversation with a benign acquaintance:Conversation starter
One drink: Hey, you look just like my sister. It’s pleasant to meet you.
Three drinks: You know what… You look just like this girl you’ve never met. You have the same annoying voice as her, and a zit just like hers. It’s a crazy coincidence, right?
Five drinks: Know something, sweety, I love my sister. And you happen to look just like her. So consider this your lucky day ’cause I, like, love my sister. So I kinda love you. And I am NOT drunk. Uhh, I think I am [rushes to loo].
One drink: Hey, you look pretty in that dress. Where did you pick it up?
Three drinks: That dress looks stunning on you. And OMG, your skin is so clear [you stroke her cheek]. I am so jealous ya.
Five drinks: Like Oh My GOD, you are gorgeous. And I’m not even talking about your physical beauty. It’s your inner charisma that makes that dress look angelic on you. I just want to get a tan in the radiance you are emitting... Ugh, I don’t feel so good.
One drink: Hey, long time! I’ve been meaning to call you. We should hang out some time.
Three drinks: Hey, this must be the 17th time I’m running into you. Maybe God’s trying to tell us something. We should watch a chick-flick and curl our hair.
Five drinks: You and I should have our kids at the same time, so they can grow up be best friends like us. Don’t you think, uhh, what’s your name?
From HT Brunch, March 10
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