Ex-girlfriend blamed for govt's social media censorship policy | brunch | Hindustan Times
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Ex-girlfriend blamed for govt's social media censorship policy

In what will be a shock to free speech evangelists, it has come to light that the government's new policy of pre-screening content on social media bore fruit not out of wanting to censor hate speech, but because a prominent minister's ex-girlfriend. Gursimran Khamba writes a satire.

brunch Updated: Dec 13, 2011 14:07 IST

(The following item is a satire)

In what will be a shock to free speech evangelists, it has come to light that the government's new policy of pre-screening content on social media bore fruit not out of wanting to censor hate speech, but because a prominent minister's ex-girlfriend. According to sources, the minister (name withheld) was trying to add an ex-girlfriend who he still he still had a soft corner for on Facebook for many nights without success. After a week of trying on Facebook, the minister tried to follow her on Twitter where she again made her profile private. The minister is said to have been running about Parliament shouting "F**k this if I can't use it I won't let her use it either!"

Prominent social media activist Anil Abraham had this to say. "Frankly I'm not surprised. This thing of "if I can't have something I won't let anyone else have it either" is a very Indian characteristic. And people do crazy things in love. What we're doing now is trying to find out who that ex-girlfriend is and launching an online petition for her to add the minister on Facebook. Maybe that will help make these inane regulations go away".

Executives at Yahoo were also surprised by the news. After jumping around for 15 minutes that a newspaper actually called them instead of Google, officials said, "Wow, we're very surprised to hear this. Our whole company still runs on the basis of kids playing "a/s/l, wanna cyber?". Had we known we would have gladly done whatever was in our power to subvert the ex-girlfriends account to help the minister."

Other ministers who also refused to be named said this was the perfect example of why there needs to be 33% reservation for women inside Parliament. "Maybe then we won't have to desperately log in to Facebook to find old lovers and kiss their display pictures on our monitors".

Gursimran Khamba is a pissed off writer, stand up comic, podcaster, social media junkie and lover of all fried foods. Except bananas. Follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/gkhamba

(The views expressed by the author are personal)

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