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Fun things to do this IPL

Every year for the past five years we have witnessed the BCCI's T20 spectacle called the IPL. As a viewer I am constantly amused and irritated by the attempts of the powers that be to make my viewing experience a nightmarish one. Fake Jhunjhunwala writes

brunch Updated: Apr 11, 2012 17:28 IST

Every year for the past five years we have witnessed the BCCI's T20 spectacle called the IPL. As a viewer I am constantly amused and irritated by the attempts of the powers that be to make my viewing experience a nightmarish one. Karbonn Kamal this, DLF Maximum that, Cheerleaders, Extra Innings, Funny Little Commentators and a billion other things which are intended to either sell me something or "entertain" me but only end up pissing me off.

What would happen now if we took these negatives and flipped them? A plethora of fun games can be played around the very things that irritate me like:

Branded baby* Counting the number of a's and x's the channel adds each year to the word 'extra' in the extra innings show to make the show more 'fun'

* Wondering how long it takes for the cricketer's brain to explode after he gets asked question after stupid question over the ear mic by the commentators in the box

* Calculate how many light years it would take for the light from the ever present photo smiley teeth of the cheergirls to reach the farthest object ever seen by human eyes in the universe

* Watch the clock rundown on the giant screen and scream with fervor as each second counts down to the next in the strategic timeout

* Create something called the excite-o-meter and use it everytime Nita Ambani gets excited. In addition drink a shot of cough syrup each time the excite- o-meter registers a new high with Nita Ambani's emotion!

* Write letters to the National Egg Coordination Committee asking for more eggs because you've bought and used up all the eggs in the state after throwing them at the TV screen everytime Siddarth Mallya's face or Ravi Shastri's voice pops up

* Have a quiz contest in your locality with fun facts and trivia questions like "How many DLF maximums were hit in the 2nd edition of the IPL?" etc

* Explain to Rajeev Shukla that wrestling show Ring Ka King Goodwill Ambassador Harbhajan Singh is also captain of the Mumbai Indians and must be excused sometimes for weak performances as he is currently feuding with wrestler Jeff Jarrett and his faction RDX in Ring Ka King.

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at http://twitter.com/Jhunjhunwala

(The views expressed by the author are personal)

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