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Give etiquette a chance

We’re set to become the world’s biggest smartphone consumers. But it’s a pity that our 800 million (and counting) mobile phone connections haven’t been accompanied with good behaviour in cell-phone usage...

brunch Updated: Aug 03, 2013 17:17 IST
Shantanu Argal
phone irritants

We’re set to become the world’s biggest smartphone consumers. But it’s a pity that our 800 million (and counting) mobile phone connections haven’t been accompanied with good behaviour in cell-phone usage...





Problem

We all know that song. It’s on TV, radio and all the clubs. It is also the blaring ringtone on the Metro/local. Badtameez Dil is making us badtameez! You might have an extraordinarily loud phone, but that’s hardly the sort of thing you need to put on display. Funnily enough, the ones with the loud ringtones are even louder when they answer the phone! http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/popup/2013/8/Kids-phoneBrunch.jpg



Perpetrators

Clueless monkeys unable to feel vibrations on silent modes or comprehend what one is saying at the slightest hint of static.

Older folk accustomed to booking trunk calls in the ’80s and yelling about the recent passing of a relative.

Hormonal teenagers who sincerely believe the entire planet needs to listen to that new song and then hear them talking ALL ABOUT it.



Problem

Frowning at dumb-phone users. It is not necessarily a financial constraint that makes people opt for the sasta-sundar-tikau cells. Some of us choose to inhabit the real world much more than the virtual one!



Perpetrators

The nouveau riche.

Children, they figure out smart-phones faster than us. Problemhttp://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/popup/2013/8/PhotographersCartoon.jpg

Reaching out for the phone as soon as it rings, beeps or buzzes. The Google Glasses experiment proves that the desire for constant connectivity isn’t going away anywhere. Words of wisdom: when at a party, put away that phone and engage in a real conversation with a real human being. You might just get laid.



Perpetrators

The 18-to-35 urban demographic. So you and me, basically.

Hormonal teenagers, again. They’re responsible for everything, even those solar storms.



Problem

The art of typing without looking at the screen – while driving, talking or walking down the road. Impossible as it sounded a few years ago, people now manage Swyping on their touchscreens without so much as a glance. But, when your fingers are moving at warp speed, it seems a little creepy that you are looking elsewhere.



Perpetratorshttp://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/popup/2013/8/Cartoon-PhoneMan.jpg

Text-junkies aka He/She Who Must Not Be Called.

Middle management in MNCs. Replying-to-email-brings-promotion.



Problem

Creepy photographers trying to take your picture. Without a doubt, this is the most severe offence on this list. Just in case you didn’t get it, do not take pictures of strangers! ABSOLUTE NO-NO! Bad dog! And you there, stop with the ‘selfies’. Want to see how you look? Find a mirror! Psst, you look like shit without Instagram!



Perpetrators

Perverts that need your picture to look at while they er… bash the bishop, spank the monkey, polish the sausage, ‘Haath Hi Mera Saathi’. Feeling a little nauseated?

Girls with floppy hair!



From HT Brunch, August 4



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