Three years ago, on a warm April day like this one, the world watched six superheroes come together on the silver screen for the biggest, bestest superhero movie of all time - The Avengers. Since then, planet Earth has been inhabited by two kinds of people - a gorgeous new breed that is the Avengers fan, and that inferior type which is not and which deserves to simply go extinct.
Now the second installment of The Avengers is on its way this Friday and it promises to be bigger and better - like that's even possible! We can't wait to see our favourite superheroes get together once again and take on the badass villain Ultron... excuse me while I have a little fangirl moment here.
Talking of fangirls, did you know that the Avenger fangirl is perhaps the most awesome woman for a man worth his spandex to be with? Don't take my word for it. Just read on.
[Disclaimer: The following is full of Avengers references, so in case you haven't watched the film, don't even bother… just, just don't <insert extreme hurt and disappointment>]
Date an Avengers fangirl because…
She's like the tesseract: a constant source of energy. Pure, beautiful, sustainable energy. Even when your power is off, she'll turn it back on without you having to say a word. And she'll totally get it when you go all cheesy on her and say stuff like, "Baby, you're my tesseract. You open up a whole new dimension for me."
She'll not only settle in well with your nerdy buddies but also wax eloquent on the characteristics of all six superheroes. Hell, she'll even rank them as per her liking and more often than not, her ranking will match yours Avenger to Avenger. Tying on first place will be Robert Downey Jr's cocky, tech savvy Iron Man and Mark Ruffalo's adorably incredible Hulk. Next on will be Chris Evans' shy, old-fashioned and very hot Captain America. Chris Hemsworth's Thor with his big hammer (oh yes, she'll say that and say that out loud) will always be third. Scarlett Johansson's manipulating Black Widow will come in last. No wait, who was the sixth Avenger? Hawk Eye. Who the hell was Hawk Eye, again? She doesn't care. Nor do you.
She knows that a little sarcasm doesn't kill anyone. She'll borrow her brand of sarcasm, and drama, and style from Iron Man himself. She may be a little volatile, a little self-obsessed, but unless you have secrets and "your secrets have secrets," she will be a Lol-fest all along.
She'll laugh excitedly every time Hulk bashes the villain Loki. You'll play the scene on loop just to see her laugh. She loves the Hulk; you can see it in her eyes. Probably a little more than Iron Man even. But you won't mind it. Because when your inner Hulk comes out at times, which it will, she'll stand right up to you, look you in the eye and say, "I know your secret: You are always angry!" and kiss your fumy green nose. Thousand bucks if your Hulk doesn't melt back into your Banner right there.
She'll sometimes act ignorant just to see you talk about things she already knows. And when you exclaim, "Oh! How could you possibly not know this?", she'll simply say, "Oh I must have been asleep the last 70 years!" You'll know then that she's put her Captain America mode on, and you'll absolutely love her for it. And just like the Captain's diehard fan Phil Coulson, you'll love to watch your own little superhero sleep. You are after all her biggest fan. And she knows it too.
She'll understand that relationships are like doors - "they can be opened from both sides." She'll be soft and loving. She'll be the demure diva. She'll seduce you with her coyness. And before you know it, you'd be pouring out all that you were hiding to this Black Widow of your life. Don't for a moment think she's "just another pretty face." Respect her "very specific set of skills" and she'll respect you too. And love you even more than she already does.
She'll be a demigod in bed, yes sir, she'll be. You'll take role playing to the next level and with so many superheroes to choose from, you'll never run out of ideas. She'll understand if you are a freak. She's a freak too. You two are "a chemical mixture that makes chaos." You'll both be your own little freak show. And you will absolutely, totally love it!
In her blog 'In The Mood For…' heartbreak kid Satarupa Paul brings to you real-life stories, gyaan, and blabbering on love, sex, relationships and more. From HT Brunch, April 22
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