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How do I keep my relationship strong?

brunch Updated: May 19, 2012 19:03 IST
Tanmay Bhat
Tanmay Bhat
Hindustan Times
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Dear All,
I Saif Ali Khan, or as my girlfriend Kareena calls me, Chote Nawaab, present to you my relationship advice column. Do write to me with all your doubts and queries about relationship issues and I’ll make sure I answer them. Coz I have some time right now...

Let’s check out this week’s queries:

http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/Popup/2012/5/Tanmay-Bhat.jpgDear Saif,

I’m in a relationship with a girl who is half my age. Everybody keeps making fun of me. Please give me some advice on how to keep my relationship strong.

Myself Vir

Dear Vir,
Since I was a child, my mother always told me one thing – a man growing old becomes a child again. It was only years later that I realised what my mother meant when she made that point. At first I was really confused – how did my mother predict the plot of Benjamin Button so long ago? Then I understood its true meaning. I can say from personal experience that as a man gets older, his inner child craves to be cradled within the cockles of a youthful spirit. Ignore what others say. Indulge in juvenile activities with your partner to keep the relationship childlike and young.
Myself Saif

Dear Saif,
I’m 18.
Rajesh

Dear Rajesh,
Dude. WTH. Not cool.

Dear Saif,
BRO I JUST GOT A NEW GUN. YOU WANNA LIKE GO TEST IT OUT SOMETIME. LET ME KNOW.
Xxxxxxxxx

Go away Salman!

ABBEY, AYE BHAI KE SAAATH AISA KAISA BAAT KAR RELA HAI TU?
Zkfhioayd

Go away Arbaaz. And Sohail, if you’re reading this – Lol, kidding. I know you can’t read.

Dear Saif,
I really love my girlfriend, but I’m not ready for marriage. How do I convey this message to her?
Ashish Shakya

Dear Ashish,
What you can do in such situations is this: Keep promising to her that you will marry her, but never really address the issue up front. If she ever brings up the topic of marriage, compliment her and distract her. You’re welcome.

Dear Saif,
HIII SAIIIIIIF WHEN ARE YOU AND KAREEEEEEEEENA GETTING MARRRIEDDDD ???? MWAH MWAH MWAH
Namaah Kumaar

Dear Namaah,
You have such beautiful eyes. Yours sincerely.

Yo Saif,
I can never be in one relationship for more than three or four days. I love having sex. With several women. At the same time. What do you think? Do I have a problem? Or do I have a problem?
Rohan Joshi

Dear Rohan,
No one can have just one. I suppose. Yours sincerely, Saif.

Dear Saif,
My girlfriend keeps complaining about how I work too much and how I never have enough time for her. How do I make her understand that I’m just genuinely busy? Do tell me what I can do! I really want to know.
Gursimran Khamba

Dear Khamba,
Most of these issues stem from the fact that she feels like her work isn’t valuable enough. What you need to do is listen to her and compliment her on her work.
For example – I always keep myself updated with all of Kareena’s work. For example her last movie before Agent Vinod was… uhh… that.. uhh… that one with.. that dude whose agent’s name is Aamir… and before that she did that 150 crore rupee movie where that robot dude gropes her… before that was… uhh… you get the point.
Sincerely, Saif Ali Khan

Tanmay Bhat is (a) co-founder of the popular comedy podcast All India Bakc**d (b) One of the first few Indian comics to perform at The Comedy Store Mumbai and London and (c) bad with women.
What do you think when you think ‘celebrity’: Cocaine.
What makes you ROFL? “India.”
Do you think you are a celebrity: “No, because I am in my chaddis at home.”

From HT Brunch, May 20

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