|Don't be a chronic RT @retweeter |
Don't regurgitate what others are talking about. Everything Justin Bieber or Kim Kardashian or Priyanka Chopra tweets about is not worth a retweet. Tweet what's going on inside your head but make sure it's worth listening to. Yes, it's going to take practice.
|Don't tweet rubbish|
#HappyHoli greetings? Pictures of coloured (un-recognisable) faces and multi-coloured clothes? "#Bhaang-ing it up! THAT'S how you play #Holi!"? No one's going to want to follow those tweets. Find a way to take an existing thought forward. Make it witty, funny. Make it memorable. Or don't bother tweeting, because no one's listening anyway.
|Don't hashtag the world|
If you do use a hashtag, be smart. #AddOnionBeforeMovieName makes #nosense. Neither does #justsaying. Au contraire, hashtagging every word is also irritating. How will you #react if #every #word were to be #hashtagged?
|Cut back on the ODA (online display of affection)|
Tweeting about your honeybun or your munchkin will only elicit truckloads of laughter. "I miss you so much darling, it hurts *big puppy dog eyes*". Please grow up. NOW!
|Go easy on CAPSLOCK|
It's okay to be upset with government policies, onion prices, mosquitoes and crappy soaps on television. But please DO NOT RESORT TO CAPS LOCK.
Reserve capitalisation to one tweet in a hundred, when it really counts. Like, "OMG! I THINK I JUST SAW SRK!! HE LOOKS SO HAWT!!"
|Mind your grammar|
Twitter is the '140-character' monster, but if "ths is hw u wnt to twt", you might as well stop tweeting. "Grvty is a gr8 flm!! U hv 2 wtch it!!" Yes, Gravity is a great film, and yes you MUST watch it, but not after tweeting like this!
|Beware the autocorrect devil|
With our dependence on smartphones, we've forgotten how to spell and spell-check. You've got to at least see what you're tweeting about! "I just louurwe my boyfriend's colon." We know you meant cologne. But see where that got you?
|Don't tweet everything you eat|
"This has to be THE best pasta in white sauce, ever! *drools all over*" Yawn. Albert Einstein said "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." And anyone who tweets while eating is not doing any justice to the food!
|Don't boast about your workout|
Who'd want to hear your humblebrags about how you benchpressed 40 kilos? No one. "500 push-ups, 300 lunges, 100km bike ride. Now THAT'S what I call a killer workout!" You poor dear. You don't have a life, do you?
|Don't not tweet|
If you really want to be on Twitter, don't stay inactive. If you made an account just for saying, "Of course I'm on Twitter, but I don't really tweet," you might as well delete your account.
From HT Brunch, March 2
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