New kind of horror all around you

  • Nihit Bhave, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Nov 29, 2015 11:46 IST

You might not have new scary movies to watch this Halloween, but don’t worry, there’s plenty happening around you to give you the chills. Unintentionally, of course.

Bigg Boss 9 inmates:

We miss the good ’ol days of Rakhi Sawant’s mascara streaming down her cheeks as she had a meltdown in the bathroom, or Dolly Bindra scaring us with “baap pe mat jaana”, or Imam Siddique violently breaking pots and pans in the house.

(Dolly Bindra)

This year, the first contestant (we’re blanking on her name and don’t want to Google it) was someone who bathes “in milk on birthdays”, believes in the “princess culture” and wants to “prove that she’s a princess” in the house. A new kind of horror, altogether!

Chetan Bhagat’s Sahitya Akademi tweet:

Even as a joke, even for the sake of a tweet, that statement about returning his nonexistent Sahitya Akademi award gave us a tiny stroke and left us in 2 States: Horrified and Confused.

American Horror Story Hotel and Scream Queens:

Ryan Murphy, who was considered the master of contemporary horror, has thrown two new shows our way: the fourth installment of American Horror Story (called Hotel) and slasher thriller, Scream Queens. But AHS employs same old jump-scare tactics, and SQ is so campy, it makes us cringe. Has Murphy lost his touch? That’s the scariest thought.

The Price of the iPhone 6 Plus:

The latest Apple phone is being sold in India for Rs 92,000. It’s safe to assume that an Apple employee flies down from USA to personally deliver the device to you, and the price includes their airfare.

Singh Is Bliing Crossed Rs 100 Cr:

The only explanation for this is that, maybe the tickets were sold for Rs 1, and the entire population of India watched it once. It beggars belief to imagine that people spent over Rs 200 of their hard-earned money to watch Singh (Akshay Kumar) and bling (Amy Jackson).

Akshay Kumar in a still from Singh Is Bliing.

Terminator is going Tamil:

Arnold Schwarzenegger has apparently signed on to play a rogue robot in Rajinikanth’s Enthiran 2. The thought of seeing the two legends go against each other is giving us goosebumps!

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is SE-VEN-TEEN:

Yes, it’s been 17 years since “Rahul-Anjali ka jhagda” and “...tum nahi samjhoge Rahul” and those blinding, neon Polo tees. Newsflash: You’re old! *shudder*

Too poor for toor:

The nation recently gasped collectively after the price of toor dal shot up to Rs 200/Kg. Dal mein itna kuch kaala hai, that we’ll settle for kaali dal instead.

From HT Brunch, October 25

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