Around mid last year, I told you “my breasts are not my respect and dignity”. And I meant it. My boobs really aren’t holy or sacred. No woman’s are. Neither is our vagina. Then why all this undesired attention?
My grandmother used to tell me, back in the days when women got married, that after the first night (suhag raat), the mother-in-law would enter the room and look for blood stains on the white bedsheets. If they didn’t find any, either there had been no sex, or she wasn’t a virgin. If they found the stain, that was celebrated.
Back then, I guess, we didn’t realise that girls can break their hymens during sports, or via injuries, etc too. Today, we’re evolved and modern enough to know this. That’s why there’s no way you won’t find blood – oh no, instead, her parents themselves take her to get her hymen replaced. All these years later, we may have become advanced enough to figure out different ways she could’ve lost it and how to get it back, but to hurt the man’s ego by accepting she isn’t a virgin? That could take a couple more decades.
When I first moved to India from Australia, I wondered how this whole country was expecting to raise young, educated, confident girls who would want to be astronauts and engineers, when they couldn’t even teach them to be comfortable in their own skin. How are these girls supposed to concentrate on their studies when during the years their bodies are changing, they aren’t educated about it? Girls don’t openly talk about periods. A girl must one day give a man the best sex of his life, but she dare not enjoy those orgasms. She must nurture, love, give life. But dare she live the life she’s been given! Wow. What a Goddess!
I fail to understand why women are judged on the basis of their virginity. Half of society judges her for not being a virgin, because you know, what a slut, while the other half judges her for still being one!
If she’s had sex, she’s characterless, she’s asking for it...damn, she’s easy. But if she hasn’t, she’s playing hard to get! I’ve been on both sides of the coin (yes, that means I’m no longer a virgin) and I can tell you for sure that my vagina doesn’t have a personality. My vagina isn’t kind, sweet, shallow, bitchy, arrogant, educated, talented, generous, or humorous. It’s me. Those are my traits.
So let us decide for ourselves and STOP judging us on the basis of our hymen. Judge us on our talents, judge strengths, passions and skills. Better yet, don’t judge us at all.
MTV Girls on Top actress, Saloni Chopra, is associated with Free the Nipple movement. Her Instagram campaign addresses issues like bra-strap shaming, physical abuse and virginity.
From HT Brunch, March 5, 2017
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