Ever since his remarks on intolerance, Aamir Khan has been in the news. We’re sure the thinking man’s superstar can be explained using every letter of the alphabet. So here goes...
A for Alien: because playing an ordinary human being is just so old-fashioned!
B for Body: Hello, eight-pack!
C for Cricket. And cycling: Aamir believes in excelling at everything, including sports. First, he won a cycle race against those arrogant folk at Rajput college. Then, he beat the people who invented cricket, at cricket.
D for Different: It’s what Aamir tries to be with every film. It usually pays off. Except in D for Dhoom 3.
E for Emotions: From engineering students ka dukh to Tujhe sab hai pata hai na maa… (we’re too busy crying to say more).
F for Fashion: From rangeeli shirts in Rangeela to the cross-dressing gown in Baazi.
G for Ghosts: Aamir is so talented that he can see those too. Remember Kareena Kapoor in Talaash?
H for Honesty and I for Integrity: Because Aamir’s characters have these in abundance – especially the policemen.
J for Juhi Chawla: She’s the only one who matches his baby face. And when they star together, Punjabi aunties the world over croon, “Haye kinne sone lag rahe hain.”
K for Khandala: The only word anyone will ever use after “Aati kya..” And who do we owe it to again?
L for Love Love Love: Because loving just once is for losers.
M for Memory: Because he’s lost it twice. Once faking it (Andaz Apna Apna) and another time for real (Ghajini). We’ll vote for not real #AmarFTW
N for No: That’s what he said – to awards and award functions. When you are Aamir, you need no validation from the janta.
O for #OccupationSwag: He’s been everything anyone could ever want to be when they grow up: inventor, teacher, cricketer, farmer, MBA student, policeman, CEO tycoon type…
P for Phunsukh Wangdu: Hands down the coolest, most badass name for anyone. EVER.
Q for QSQT: Because it’s been 27 years and we still go awwwww every single time we watch this.
R for Raj: Hah! You thought Shah Rukh had a monopoly on this name? Aamir has been Raj twice (in Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak and Afsana Pyar Ka) and a ‘Raja’ thrice! How’s that?
S for Satyamev Jayate: Because truth is bigger than everything. Three crore times bigger. So why limit goodness to the bada parda when you can bring it onto the small screen? Also S for sobbing and sniffling because that happens on this show a lot.
T for Teeeen Goooooona Lagaan: Alternative ending for the film:
after losing the match, there’s the torrential rainfall, and abundance of crops, and they’re able to pay the lagaan, and still live in prosperity.
U for Uncle: We’re not being ageist. We’re saying that it’s all about family. Once Imran Khan entered the picture(s), being mamu was suddenly added to Aamir’s CV.
V for Victory: When Captain Russell stepped over that boundary line and when Sanju pedalled across the finish line to win, we cheered like mad. It was like India beat Pakistan in the World Cup finals.
W for Waterfall: What Aamir and Sonali Bendre once stood under in Sarfarosh in an attempt to look seductive and sexy – two words that have never been associated with him.
X for eXpert: Aamir knows it’s all about everything filmy. And he makes sure they get it right.
Y for Yaadon Ki Baarat: It was Aamir’s debut film. His name in the credits: Master Aamir.
Z for Zimmedaari: Desh ki, students ki, apne lady love ki.
From HT Brunch, December 6
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