There is no winning on the internet. If you put your heart on the line and claim to be a big fan, you'd get shot down by "real aficionados" as just another wannabe who only knows two songs and wants to go to update pictures on Facebook. If you refuse to go, you'd get shot down by the same bunch who think you're pathetic for not witnessing the greatest ever musical act in history who have done our poor nation a favour by deciding to fly down.
You aren't a true fan if you don't update your Facebook OMG METALLICA WAS AWESOME SOMEONE KILL ME RIGHT NAAOOW I WUZZ DEREEE!!!! Because apparently, there are millions and millions of Metallica fans in the country whose only goal in life was to hear the band play live and now there is nothing left for them to achieve. Next time there's a religious riot, please put these people up front so those who do want to continue to live and do something with their lives can be saved.
You can have hundreds of buildings on fire, destitute children dying of encephalitis or a blockade that cuts off the entire North East from mainland India, none of it would make prime time news if a concert gets cancelled.
Every media organization suddenly discovered they had one guy from the north-east working in their newsroom and automatically became "Senior Rock Music correspondent" reporting from the ground.
The best person the Indian media can manage to send to interview the biggest metal band the world has ever seen (again quoting from Facebook) is Srinivasan Jain. And just to make it look hip and cool, they'd get him to wear jeans.
There is no event, good or bad, that cannot degenerate into a slanging match between citizens of Delhi and Mumbai about who is better.
Gursimran Khamba is a pissed off writer, stand up comic, podcaster, social media junkie and lover of all fried foods. Except bananas. Follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/#!/gkhamba
(The views expressed by the author are personal)
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