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Things Mamata Banerjee should ban

brunch Updated: Apr 25, 2012 16:15 IST
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
Hindustan Times
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Recently our Hon-Her-Able Didi Mamata Banerjee arrested a Professor for making a cartoon of her. Didi was so irate that she threw the Professor in jail and banned his cartoon. Of course this has been on the back of a long line of bans by Miss Banerjee and her government in Bengal. The Central Government is unwilling to oppose Mamata because Akhir Yeh Kursi Ka Sawaal Hai.

MamataIn effect Mamata now yields so much power she can ban pretty much anything in the country. So why not ban the real things that frustrate India so much? The nation would be indebted to her instead of criticizing her! Things like:

* That creature on top of Sonu Nigam's head he calls hair. Seriously! It scares people

* People who post links of the Abhishek Manu Singhvi sex CD online. Why would anyone really even want to watch a sex video staring Abhishek Manu Singhvi of all people!

* The dangerous creature known as Preity Zinta which tramples onto the field excitedly to throw hissy fit after hissy fit when the Umpire makes a questionable decision which goes against the Kings XI Punjab

* Anu Malik returning each year as the over the top smartass super annoying judge of Indian Idol subjecting the Indian populace to genocide with his comments.

* Ban the import of East Asian and Central European music CDs simultaneously banning the broadcast of the same on the internet because this then nullifies chances of Pritam getting "inspired" and then pouring his tinkered inspirations into the soundtrack of a Hindi film.

* Go completely hardcore & like a boss ban the foremost banning authority in India itself viz. The Censor Board which recently cut so many scenes in 'The Dirty Picture' that they have left The Dirty Picture absolutely dirt free.

* Sonakshi Sinha's increased efforts to know if my toothpaste contains a recommended quantity of sodium chloride or salt "active salt"

* And finally, Ravi Shastri's commentary - enough said

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at

(The views expressed by the author are personal)

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