Rescue Valentine's Day from becoming a cloying, kitschy mess of cliches. We bring you a new idea for every old one you've ever had. Here's an example. Junk teddy and diamond ear rings idea. How about an iPad and online purchase option instead?
Illustrations: Abhijeet Kini
Corny: Dedicating a song on the radio.
What if they don’t play your song? What if they don’t have it? Do you know what disappointment sounds like?
Cool:Organising a flash mob.
People do it for sangeets all the time. Harness the same enthusiasm; you’ll all have a lot more fun!
Corny: Buying a random T-shirt as a present.
How many Superman logos does one really need?
Cool:Turning your Valentine into an actual super hero.
Comicstrippers use your inputs to create a comic with your loved one as a super hero! Find them on Facebook.
Corny: Giving them a cake or expensive chocolates.
It shows you have no imagination.
Cool: Take a melon, carve ‘I Love You’ on it, and place it on the top shelf of their refrigerator.
It’s innovative and a hand-made healthy gift.
Corny: Public displays of affection on Facebook.
Your Valentine won’t respond, but snarky commenters will.
Cool: Sharing headphones on the Metro.
We’re now possessive about sharing ANYTHING. If you can share a playlist these days, you can share anything.
Feeling giddy already? That could be because of the average food or the size of your bill.
Cool:Take a helicopter ride.
If you want to spend some money and see the sights, this is how to do it.
Corny: Cooking up a meal for two when you are bad at it.
A burnt or half-cooked meal does not say ‘I Love You’. It says I suck at cooking.
Cool: A jar full of red and/or pink candy with a little love note.
This dessert will last for weeks (well, that's the point anyway).
Corny:Asking family and friends to scribble something lovey-dovey in a notebook with sketch pens.
No one has good handwriting these days, and no one can spell. You really want pages of ‘U R Grt 2gether?
Cool: A YouTube (privacy settings turned on) video.
Make your own video – or a montage with photos, scribbles, your favourite song or fun voice clips.
Save those for the kids.
Cool:Get a real puppy or a kitten or anything furry and cuddly.
Type the word ‘adopt’ into your Twitter search window. Now how can you resist?
What is this? A craft project?
Cool: Showing her diamond earrings on an online site on a new iPad, and giving her both items as presents.
No one can resist an iPad (we’ve lost our hearts to the Mini). This way, the earrings are just the cherry on the cake.
Corny:24 pink-tipped roses so perfect they will bankrupt you.
Eventually they’ll wither and die. What does that say about you or your love?
Cool:24 friends who call your Valentine and pass on your message through the day.
Make your Valentine blush round the clock!
Corny: His and her designer Swiss watches that cost `60,000 + VAT.
For every minute of every day you’ll be reminded of how you could do better.
Cool:Cash. A bag full of it.
Why do you think people gift envelopes of cash at weddings? It's the best gift ever and will ensure everlasting love.
Corny: Flowers, jewellery and a fancy dinner.
Don't you do these things the rest of the year anyway?
Cool:A carton of popular culture – an entire year's worth of books, films or TV shows.
So every time they're bored, they will thank you – and also not bug you for entertainment.
Even the teenagers know better than to do that now.
Cool: Wrapping your gifts in a French newspaper and scrawling je t’aime all over it.
Most big bookstores stock the foreign papers now. Put them to good use, oui?
Corny: He asks her out.
Because, you know, it’s the done thing. It’s what boys are expected to do.
Cool: She asks him out.
Get over the stupid stereotype of guys going down on one knee. Take him horse riding or diving and pop the question!
From HT Brunch, February 9
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