What not to do at a Metallica concert | brunch | Hindustan Times
Today in New Delhi, India
Oct 19, 2017-Thursday
-°C
New Delhi
  • Humidity
    -
  • Wind
    -

What not to do at a Metallica concert

Of course not everyone is a fan. After all we live in a world where people voluntarily listen to Justin Bieber (Why God, Why?!!!). So if you ever have the good fortune of attending a Metallica concert, do not under any circumstance do any of the things mentioned below. The Fake Jhunjhunwala enlightens...

brunch Updated: Nov 02, 2011 15:20 IST
The Fake Jhunjhunwala
Metallica-Band--members-at-the-press-conference-in--Gurgaon-HT-Photo-by-Manoj-Kumar
Metallica-Band--members-at-the-press-conference-in--Gurgaon-HT-Photo-by-Manoj-Kumar

This past Sunday my greatness was in Bangalore. I love Metal; I mean I love Metal as a sector to invest in the Stock Markets. For example NALCO, Tata Steel and Sesagoa are very satisfactory Metal stocks. In addition to Metal the sector I happen to love Metal, the Music as well. Nothing makes me happier than Headbanging my giant, tough, golden horned bullhead to the sound of loud electric guitars and kickass drums hammered to shatter my very Red Blood Corpuscles.

Of course not everyone is a fan. After all we live in a world where people voluntarily listen to Justin Bieber (Why God, Why?!!!). So if you ever have the good fortune of attending a Metallica concert, do not under any circumstance do any of the things mentioned below.

Issued in public interest:

* Land up at the venue with a poster of Ranbir Kapoor's 'Rockstar' (This will get you killed)

* Ask Metallica to perform a cover of Himesh Reshammiya's 'Jhalak Dikhla Jaa'

* Tell the crowd to "Be Quiet" and "Keep Your Voice Down" with a finger on your lips gesture just as Metallica start playing 'Enter Sandman'

* Make a corny remark in an attempt to be funny by suggesting that The Backstreet Boys are louder than Metallica.

* Spend more time playing with your phone and sending SMS's than actually enjoying the music

* Wear a wretched fruity rainbow multicolored T-shirt just to be "noticed" and "stand out in the crowd" when everyone else is wearing black.

* And finally completely piss everybody off by talking about how you're missing Masterchef Australia especially when Metallica are belting out 'Master Of Puppets'

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at http://twitter.com/Jhunjhunwala

(The views expressed by the author are personal)

Follow us on twitter.com/HTBrunch
Connect with us on facebook.com/hindustantimesbrunch