With this year having belonged more to political irresolution than to the making of much-needed resolutions, more to preoccupation with planetary dissolution than any earth-shaking solution, more to foot-in-the-mouth utterances than to meaningful parliamentary discourse, with Season 2012 seeing us surviving doomsday to live to see Delhi's gloom-day, it is but natural to hope that 2013 will belong more to politicians who fuel social change more than they deliver fuel hikes, to parliamentarians who're discreet as much in talk as in tweet, and to players who do better than stick to a chair when on a sticky wicket.
So, here's a wish list of New Year resolutions 'n' roles best suited for some big players who rule the studio, stadia or social media.
Move over Kareena Kapoor Khan and Salman Khan. Mahendra Singh Dhoni can do a more 'Dabangg' act when it comes dancing to the tunes of those who call the shots just to remain cast in a role. MSD's resolution for 2013, thus, should be to stick to skipper-ship, a la Fevicol. Who better than Mahi, more than a 'Munni' or Bebo, to do a "chipka loonga main Fevicol se" (to captaincy, of course)!
That makes Mahi 2013's most-suited brand ambassador of Fevistick, for being the skipper with the heavy stick.
Cover Drive Pe Chal
While on the matter of MSD's quitting, how can one not talk of cricket's other great quitting that formed the pitch for the most pressing national debate in 2012 (the pitch in this case belonging more to TV commentators' chords than to curators)? Seeing how all things Sachin spelt the agenda for this year, be it his 100th ton or the 100-crore question of whether or not he would take retirement, the Master Blaster's New Year resolve should be to keep the nation guessing all through 2013 about his next shot. Will 2013 be his parting shot or not? Will critics and commentators now drive him to call it a day in Test or T20 play, or will he be playing the score "Cover Drive Pe Chal"?
To silence the debate and detractors, Sachin Tendulkar's New Year resolution should be to star in the role of "Khiladi 101".
Jab Tak Hai Zubaan
Seeing how 2012 saw a spurt in the cases of foot-in-the-mouth politicians, what with our leaders articulating innovative political theorisation like blaming the rise in rapes on chowmein, painting the Capital's candlelight crusaders and anguished anti-rape protesters as "painted and dented" specimens of womanhood" or slighting the fair sex with 100-crore tags on Twitter, it was surely a season that had the parliamentarians engaged in shooting from their lip when they were not preoccupied in paying lip service.
Here's hoping that in 2013 our politically incorrect netas shall resolve to exercise their vocal chords more to articulate the aam aadmi's angst than to add insult to injury.
Here's wishing that our leaders' New Year resolution will be to not trivialise social ills with their foot-in-the mouth utterances about how footlongs feed constitutional propensities to rape and instead create constitutional remedies to crush criminality.
Here's hoping our politicians' 2013 pledge shall be to mouth sensitised and sanitised speech Jab Tak Hai Zubaan.
Student of the Year
While many students were busy taking to the streets in 2012, there was one "student" who took off more to the studios. Yes, one-time Anna associate and "disciple" Arvind Kejriwal was one student of political science who took as much to the public stage as to the streets. Alas! only to be slowed down by speed-breakers. For, while aspiring to build his political foundations faster than Robert Vadra may have built his real estate, Kejriwal and his dream team seemed to lose some steam.
What the Aam Admi Party (AAP) chief needs the most in the New Year is more verve and vigour for his exposes. What better than popping a pill to infuse more vitality into his talk on the anti-corruption Bill. And who better than Kejriwal to be the 2013 face for pill Revital!
The Dark Slight Rises
As for those students who spilled on to the streets in 2012, they may need to "brush" up their act in 2013 seeing how they were slighted by presidential progeny for looking "painted and dented". For, little had Young India anticipated that its Dark Night of uprising would be turned by the President's foot-in-the-mouth son Abhijeet Mukherjee into an episode of The Dark Slight Rises.
Seeing how the candlelight vigil did not go down well with Raisina Hill, India Pining needs a New Year resolution about not letting political muscle or chauvinistic hate muzzle its voice at India Gate.
Whether rampant corruption saw the common man pouring into Jantar Mantar for Team Anna's support, or it was a gangrape that made the nation's youth spill onto the streets, Young India's New Year resolution should be not to beat a retreat. Come tear gas or fear gas!
For, Young India is 2013's best bet to be the brand ambassador for the catchphrase: Darr Ke Aage Jeet Hai!
The writer is a Chandigarh-based columnist