Battle for the 'golak'

  • Vikramdeep Johal, Hindustan Times, Chandigarh
  • Updated: Jul 27, 2014 06:54 IST

My nearly-five daughter has raised the banner of revolt. She wants total control of her 'golak' (piggy bank), which is getting heavier and heavier by the day. The defiant child has even set up the HGMC (Household Golak Management Committee), appointing herself as its president-cum-general secretary. But I've put my foot down. Can't let my offspring take charge of all this money without my supervision (those jingling coins are music to my ears). I've approached the top authority, my wife, better known as 'central government' in our home. And on my insistence, she's trying to resolve this dispute between the 'two states' (that's what me and my daughter are called). Here's a peek at what's going on within our four walls.

Me: I'll quit as the chief minister of the parent state if this nasty HGMC is not dissolved. What's the need for it when we already have the SGMC (Supreme Golak Management Committee)? It's nothing but a mischief by the baby state to disturb domestic peace and harmony.

Kid: Being a separate state, I have my own rights and powers. Both of you have no business interfering in my affairs.

Wife (sternly): Haven't you read Article 355 of the Constitution?

Kid: Nope. But I've read Little Red Riding Hood, mom, and I think you resemble the Big Bad Wolf.
Wife (angrily): This is outrageous!

Me: Indeed, dear. You should punish her for this atrocity, I'm sorry, audacity.

Wife: I'll do it, don't you worry, but let's first go the legal way. Article 355 clearly says, "It shall be the duty of the Union to protect every State against external aggression and internal disturbance and to ensure that the government of every State is carried on in accordance with the provisions of this Constitution."

Kid: Don't bore me with your constitutional lecture. Right now, there's an attractive pair of skates I'm dying to buy.

Me: I'll give you the money for that. You don't have to break open the 'golak'.

Kid: Dad, I don't need your crumbs. I want to be au-to-no-mous. I wonder why you are so interested in my humble piggy bank when you have lakhs stashed in banks.

Me: It's not only about money, little one. Power and prestige are at stake too in this game of oneupmanship.

Wife (sternly and angrily): Listen to me, kid. Wind up the HGMC immediately or be ready for the consequences.

Kid: What's the worst you can do? Excommunicate me? Throw me out of the house? No probs. Natkhat Nandu has offered to keep me as a PeeGee in his palatial house.

Me: Nandu? Isn't his father the Leader of the Opposition in our locality? So, all this is politically motivated. My child, don't let that naughty boy lead you ashtray, I mean astray.

Wife: And don't forget that your 'golak' money won't last long. What will you do then?

Kid: I'll move the 'Supreme Court' (my grandparents). They'll show you who's the Bigg Boss.

Wife (tactfully): Oh, there's no need for such a drastic step. We must find an amicable solution. Let's rise above piggy-bank politics.

Me: When our leaders can't rise above vote-bank politics, how can we lesser mortals do it?

Kid: For once, dad, I agree with you. But that doesn't mean I'll give you the 'golak'. Period.

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