Disclaimer: I am not a film critic and this is not a review of the animated flick by the same name. In fact, its protagonist Gru no longer defends the title after having a change of heart and deviating from his wicked ways. Read on to discover the true contender of this title.
I, me and myself, that's what I love to talk about and can do so uninterrupted, unabashed. Your opinion of me, well that's irrelevant, as only self-appraisal can justify a personality as great as me. I am immortal, omnipresent and exist since time immemorial. I ruled the monarchs, instigated many gory wars and ruined many dynasties only to proclaim superiority and satiate myself. Even sages and mystics were/are wary of me and unsettled by my presence. They restore to meditation and other mind-controlling tactics to eliminate or at least downplay me. But alas, only a few have succeeded so far.
However, don't consider me being primitive or obsolete. My presence is all the more quintessential in today's cut throat, competitive world. I breed on fear, insecurities and complexes. I don't discriminate on the basis of region or religion, between rich or poor but I must admit being a bit partial towards achievers. Higher the level of success, wisdom, riches, and status, the more aggressively I manifest myself into the psyche.
I lovingly indulge an exaggerated sense of self-importance and inflated pride. I cunningly trick you into crossing the subtle borderline between self-confidence and over confidence. I enable your transition from your true self to your pretentious self.
Humility is my biggest enemy. I desist satisfaction and inner tranquillity. I beget anxiety, envy and malice. I have had the privilege of being a favourite research topic for many eminent psychologists, neuroscientists and philosophers. They thoroughly explored my existence and coined many scientific and psychiatric interpretations of me. But numerous studies and theories later, man is still pondering over the why and how of my being, let alone the thought of culling me.
All the attention, however, doesn't imply that I am in anybody's good books. There's a lot of namecalling and I am scoffed at as an evil, abductor of your 'self', an instigator and the list of coveted title's goes on. When you commit a mistake and don't admit it, I am blamed. When your conceit eclipses your humility, I am blamed. When you are self-centric and perceive you are the best among the rest, I am blamed. But guess what? I am not perturbed at all because I know I am still the best.
That confused look on your face tells me that you have still not recognised me. Don't look here and there, I reside within you, the very nucleus of your consciousness. I am touted to be your biggest enemy, the evil twin of your virtuous self, the false facet of your true self. I am your deceitful, supercilious EGO, the truly deserving Despicable Me. email@example.com