Gone to the dogs | chandigarh | Hindustan Times
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Gone to the dogs

chandigarh Updated: Jun 26, 2012 17:50 IST
Vikramdeep Johal

The Rs 15-crore dog memorial was unveiled amid unprecedented traffic chaos on the national highway on Sunday. The pure-gold canine idol - installed bang in the middle of the busy road - was dedicated to world peace by the local MLA and cabinet minister.

Addressing the gathering, the chief guest said, "This monument is my brainchild. My 15-year-old son was driving my red-beacon car when it crushed an innocent pup to a pulp. The bloody sight made my heart bleed profusely. I decided on the spot to pay a befitting tribute to these four-legged martyrs."

Dismissing fears that the sculpture would be a traffic hazard, the minister claimed, "Instead, this work of art will act as a speed-breaker. It will reduce the accident rate and save precious lives, besides attracting tourists and boosting the business of highway vendors."

He categorically stated that the memorial had nothing to do with politics. "The Opposition is only good at barking. They are accusing us of using 'man's best friend' to woof, I'm sorry, woo voters. That speaks volumes about their frustration."
The senior leader made it clear that his God-fearing government regarded the dog as the holiest of all animals. "Don't forget that D-O-G is actually G-O-D spelt backwards," he quipped.

When asked about the golden statue's security, he said, "We have deployed 15 insomniac guards who'll keep round-the-clock vigil. Also, CCTV cameras have been fitted atop trees for extraaaaaaaah!!!"

The minister's reply was cut short by a rabid dog, which tried to bite him in the leg. Swinging into action, his personal security officer shot the "intruder" in the head. In a masterstroke, the seasoned politician instantly dismissed the PSO for "murdering a harmless creature." The mongrel was buried with full state honours in a pit, which was dug jointly by the DC, SSP and other top officers.

Later, the VVIP departed after inaugurating a medical camp, during which 15 canines were forcibly sterilised and given medicines free of cost.

STOP PRESS: In a sensational late-night development, the newly-opened memorial was smashed by a speeding truck whose driver was dead-drunk. The mad dash for grabbing the golden pieces triggered an ultra-violent clash between locals and outsiders. Curfew has been imposed in the area and all guards have been sacked for "dozing off on duty". Despite repeated attempts, the minister could not be contacted for comment. Sources said he had left for Europe on a month-long tour to study ambulance services catering to - you guessed it right - dogs. vikramdeep.johal@hindustantimes.com