Punjabi by nature: To my daughter, with love
Last week, in this column I had shared a letter I had written to my son on his joining Class 11. The letter had evoked much interest among readers, many of whom in emails addressed to me asked how about a letter to my daughter?chandigarh Updated: May 04, 2015 13:44 IST
Last week, in this column I had shared a letter I had written to my son on his joining Class 11. The letter had evoked much interest among readers, many of whom in emails addressed to me asked how about a letter to my daughter? Though, I don’t have a daughter, the emails left me pondering as to what would I have written if I had a daughter joining Class 11. Allow me to share a letter to a daughter that I don’t have, but always wanted.
You are my joy and my love. You are the only one who can twist this ‘khadoos’ on your little finger. I overheard you call me Khadoos while complaining about me to your mother.
Many congratulations to you on joining Class 11, which in a way, marks a new chapter in your life.
Yes, ‘your life’. I say ‘your life’ because we exist in a patriarch heavy society, which has denied daughters the right of making their own choices. To allow you to make your choice and equip you with making the right choice was something your mother and I had pledged the day you were born. It perhaps is the most important gift any parent can give to his or her child.
As you move forward in your life, I want to emphasise on the importance of education and how it is the foremost instrument which will secure your future and make life’s journey smooth, enjoyable and dignified. Please keep this pursuit as most preferred and never ever doubt my commitment in your chase to acquire topclass education.
My aim of pushing education is not to prepare you as a trophy for your in-laws, but to see you as an agent of positive change in the world. To see you grow into this beautiful, self-confident and reliant lady is a desire of this father.
However to achieve this, focus is also very important, which, infact, would also make your life more meaningful and purposeful. A great education backed by a firm value system works wonders in life. Other than keeping you away from harmful influences, it will help you to be at peace with yourself and gives you roots and wings at the same time.
Before I write further, I want to mark abstention from drugs as ‘No 1’ on your must not do list because you could face this challenge and drugs have this evil character of ruining lives. The minimum age before you can consume alcohol is 25, so you get the drift.
You are growing into this lovely lady and it is natural for boys to be drawn to you in plentiful. The same will be the case for you, because such is the law of nature. My only piece of advice would be to make the right choice, for there should be no regrets later. Avoid the hoity-toity as much as you would avoid the uncouth and the illiterate. No, I’m not suggesting a geek either, for he will be insufferable. You know what I mean, but I leave this decision to you.
The guiding principle could be someone who believes in pursuing a career through education, is a gentleman and has the character of respecting you as an equal friend or partner. As a father, one of the main worries I have is about your safety. Not that I want to restrict you in any way, because as you find wings , travelling , going to college , night outs , going out with friends is going to be a significant part of your life. Stay safe and one of the smart ways to achieve it is by telling the truth and confiding and talking to your parents.
Never feel shy or embarrassed because life is a challenge and we need to deal with it. Share your feelings as in all probability, you will be able to answer your internal questions with minimal or no turbulence.
Best of luck in your life. May Waheguru bless you with a healthy and a long life.