It’s that time of the year when the breeze is not as nippy as March’s was; when the leaves are falling but the new ones are coming quickly too; when everything, including me, seems to be getting a new life.
This is the time when most people with transferable jobs move bag and baggage, yet again, to an unchartered territory. This is a convenient time practically, as exams are getting over or have got over. This time comes every year and the breeze carrying the fallen leaves lifts me up by reminding me of the anxiety of a new life.
Memory is a fickle friend as it remembers things that it wants to recall and fades away the ones too insignificant to remember. It doesn’t take long for a teenager to forget the old friendships and forge new ones and join new gang of friends, till it’s time to bid them adieu yet again, during the fall season.
The excitement of a new place, new school and friends was far too overwhelming to remember the last sobs of a parting friend, or the familiar smell of your favourite spot in the government house that you called home. From one place to another, we lived a nomadic life till we didn’t move for about three to four years from a place, for academic and professional reasons.
And then when the wheel turns full circle — you are less forgiving of the move from settled friendships to the unsettling thought of forging new bonds. You no longer see it as a swashbuckling adventure of conquering the unknown world.
As an adult, the thought of settling in a new place is as much a fright as is the fear of changing your favourite tea brand. You no longer visualise an untrodden territory to be conquered and the resultant excitement that it begets. The thought of making new friends and establishing newer bonds makes you shudder so much that you begin to realise how much you loved being in a polluted city.
It’s our adult ego and fixed ideas that hold us from going to an unfamiliar territory; it is the fear of losing what we have earned by being stationary that we dread it. Gone are the days of unquestioning belief and innocent acceptance.
It is because of this lack of belief in oneself that one becomes scared of losing all that one has built. Rudyard Kipling rightly said, ‘If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss!’ And who am I to contest that? So I move on, shifting base exactly at that time of the year.
The writer is a freelance contributor based in Ferozepur