Spice of life: Meet the enchantress

  • Parminder Kaur, Hindustan Times
  • Updated: Mar 10, 2015 17:41 IST

I am pleased to be given this once-in-a-life time opportunity to express my gratitude to all those who fervently stalk me and sacrifice their fiscal fortune at my altar. My name is enough to beguile them, to make their days restless and nights sleepless. I rob them of their sanity and sensibility to focus on mundane necessities of life and entice them to indulge in extravagance.

Irrespective of gender and class, my magic works on one and all. However, society claims that the female of the species is worst affected by my spell. Take my word, it’s just a myth. Men are more discreet in their affection for me. This misleading stance is perhaps because of the phobia that my advent will burn a hole in their pockets, quite literally.

But I need to confess that the ones who easily succumb to my charms are the dainty ladies. A rendezvous with me lifts their spirits and makes the world a happier place, even if it is temporary. I am their agony aunt who gives them bags full of solutions (pun intended).

I am the modern day Maneka and no Vishvamitra can withstand my allure. Even if they try to avoid me, their better halves won’t let them. Though I steer clear of political prejudice, I must admit that I have a soft corner for the aam aadmi , mango people you know. A namesake party recently won the mandate in Delhi, whereas I already rule the hearts and minds of the common men and women alike. I expand the horizon of their materialistic dreams by giving pseudo wings to their desires. I give them more value for their heard-earned money. Like all celebrities, I too have my share of negative publicity. Some accuse me of converting gullible people into guiltless spendthrifts by tricking them into mindless indulgence. Others blame me for upsetting their modest monthly budgets and triggering marital rifts.

Whatever! I really don’t give them any credence “Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kam hai kehna ”. I know I am doing a great social service and following in the footsteps of Santa Claus. It’s just that I don’t dole out free gifts but nonetheless, offer too much for too less. I deliver dual rewards, both to the buyer and the seller (though a bit partial in favour of the latter).

And, if you have not yet figured out who I am then you are definitely not one of my fans.

I am omnipresent these days. I grace the newspaper you read, shine on the telly tube, pop up on internet and vie for your attention from flashy billboards. Rickety-old bazaars or swanky malls both resort to a glossy display of indispensable me. Now, let me introduce myself. Ladies and gentleman, please put your hands together to welcome me, the ultimate enchantress….Sale! Sale! Sale!

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