God made Adam from the dust of the ground and then breathed life into him. Eve, he fashioned out of Adam’s rib. Both He banished to Earth for disobeying him, but somehow men have elbowed us, women, aside and managed to always remain a little ahead in the race for gender equality.
My husband’s most common exasperated refrain is, “Only a woman could have done that!” “What, pray?” I enquire with a wry twist of my lips.
Well, according to him, we women drive huge, expensive cars with impunity, while not having much sense of direction or driving skills. According to him, many a set of car tyres have been ruined because we are quite capable of driving even with a puncture as we are usually unaware of its existence. We get shortchanged regularly by the greengrocer because we never ask for the details of bills and have no head for numbers. Since we make a beeline for any exhibition or sale, the domestic helps have a field day in our absence. They know madam won’t be home for hours, so they become casual about their work, drink cups of sugarladen tea and worse use the landline phone to make calls back home.
My point is that men should just accept us, the fairer sex, the way we are.
There is no way we will pass any smooth-reflecting surface without peering into it and making sure our makeup is in place. After all, a mirror is a girl’s best friend.
We admire men with gray in their hair calling them distinguished-looking and suave, but horror of horrors if we spot a stray such strand in our hair. It calls for an emergency coffee session with a best friend and an immediate appointment at the beauty parlour for henna or the latest colouring agent. Not a second is to be wasted lest someone calls us aunty or worse mataji. It’s not for nothing that vanity, thy name is woman is an oft-repeated phrase.
We can excuse a man for sporting a bald pate or a paunch because the poor thing is overworked and short on time, but an overweight girlfriend has never had it so bad. She will be whispered about and offered 10 different diets and unsolicited advice. A woman is a woman’s worst enemy has never been truer!
But, coming back to my husband, who has been rolling with laughter and feeling vindicated since the day I, carrying numerous shopping bags, hastily opened the passenger door of a car, sat down next to a stranger and exclaimed, “Hurry, let’s go home!” That the car owner was completely flabbergasted and taken aback, is another story. My excuse for the embarrassing blunder is that all silver Honda City cars look similar, so it wasn’t really my fault. After all, a woman knows best, doesn’t she?