Superstar Salman Khan is suddenly a somewhat relieved man. For, at long last, the focus of the raging, or "engaging", national debate has been diverted from the marriage of Bollywood's Badshah of Bachelorhood to that of India's political prince, Congress vice-president Rahul Gandhi.
Such was the reaction to Rahul's recent Bhisham Pitama-esque resolve that even the social media was 'knot' ready for the spate of sentiment his "single" statement evoked.
Heartbroken female fans of the Gandhi scion on Twitter found the news too tweet to be true. But some Tweeple "maid" fun of the newest crown prince of celibacy and how: "So, Rahul Gandhi has decided not to marry. That means, he will listen to only one woman instead of two in his entire life."
Reactions apart, Rahul's remark may see some social action start. Troubled by this trend of the nation's best-known bachelor boys showing an increased propensity of 'knot' considering marriage seriously, certain brands and biz websites are envisaging ad campaigns and Facebook pages to stem this singlehood tide as part of their corporate social responsibility towards preventing the premature demise of the institution of celebrity marriage.
To Dew or not to Dew
In public interest, noted soft-drink brand Mountain Dew may rope in some leading proponents of matrimony from Bollywood to be brand ambassadors of the wedded state for wooing polity-hood's prince.
And who better than B-town's "3 Idiots" of wedded bliss to give motivational tips to bachelor boys Rahul, Salman & Co, who're possessed with a proclivity to give marriage a miss!
So, the next ad campaign of Mountain Dew may see matrimony's "3 Idiots" duly (and newly)-wedded Saif Ali Khan, dutifully-wedded Shah Rukh and doubly-wedded Aamir Khan prodding the Sultans of Singlehood Salman and Rahul to take the plunge, not off the ad campaign's trademark mountain cliff but into matrimonial bliss, or abyss.
And this they could achieve by enticing both commitment-phobic bachelor boys with the new Dew tagline: "Darr ke Aage Preet Hai!"
Knot nice news for Kejriwal
India Against Corruption (IAC) leader Arvind Kejriwal has also suddenly been spurred to spout an announcement in the wake of Rahul's celibacy pronouncement.
After training his guns at the son-in-law of the Gandhi dynasty, Robert Vadra, Kejriwal now has in his firing range the son of Congress' First Family, Rahul Gandhi.
If Robert earned Kejriwal's expose for unlawful retention of real estate, Rahul could find disfavour with the IAC leader for abstention from the "status-quoist" lawful-wedded state.
The IAC chief's 'single'-minded concern now is this: if there will be no Gandhi progeny, how would Kejriwal's GenNext earn its penny?
For, if the Congress is driven by dynastic preoccupation, Gandhi family bashing could have become the IAC chief's dynastic occupation. But by putting party before the perpetuation of the Gandhi race, the Congress' dynastic prince could leave Kejriwal's expose-engaging GenNext jobless, neither 'heir' nor there.
So, what better than a new Kejriwal campaign whereby Rahul could be 'maid' to do a matrimonial rethink! And, what better than for the IAC chief's new political outfit to be called: India Against "Single" Party rule.
Apprehending an alarming fall in its subscribers and clientele if more and more people get inspired to a state of singlehood, a la Rahul, the Bharatmatrimony online portal, which thrives on people tying the knot, may rope in a brand ambassador who's real hot.
Who better than wannabe starlet Poonam Pandey to not only promote the portal but also launch a Facebook page dedicated to seducing Salman, Rahul & Co into its friends' list.
And the bait worth the wait: Poonam has promised to strip if Rahul Gandhi can be induced to take an aisle trip!
Rahul's recent resolve of shunning the "status-quoist" wedded state for the sake of revitalising the Congress also spells a new brotherhood with the other celebrated face of confirmed Indian bachelorhood, Salman bhai.
And nothing could cash in on this knot-to-be-missed shrinking from marital responsibility by both bachelor boys better than a redone Revital ad showing Rahul share screen space with footloose 'n' fancy-free brand ambassador Salman in the jingle: Jiyo Jee Bhar Ke!
The writer is a Chandigarh-based columnist