Live and let live: stop trying to control others | columns | Hindustan Times
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Live and let live: stop trying to control others

columns Updated: Jul 15, 2013 01:56 IST

Our greatest wealth today is perhaps our freedom, but majority of us do not value it enough at times.

We start valuing our freedom only when we feel it is threatened. That’s why when we hear the word ‘control’, the first emotion we experience is that of suppression, because we humans are by nature free beings. When we feel that a person or circumstance is trying to control us, we feel suffocated.

For example, when we become upset or angry with someone who is not behaving as we wish, in our family or at work, they feel we are trying to control them emotionally. And the moment others feel that we are trying to control them, they distance themselves from us, which reduces our ability to influence them. Stubborn insistence on a certain type of behavior from anyone kills our effectiveness in dealing with them. This leaves us frustrated and stressed, wondering why the world does not behave the way we want it to.

All of us, at some stage in our lives, are being controlled by or are trying to control others. But something we must always remember, is that the more we try to control, the less influence we will have on others, whereas the less we attempt to control others, the more influence we will have on them.

So the best way to live a harmonious life is to Live & Let Live, i.e by giving the space they deserve to everyone.
(The writer is a spiritual educator and popular columnist writing for publications across India, Nepal and the UK}