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HindustanTimes Wed,01 Oct 2014
‘Shut the book, move on’
Cyrus Broacha, Hindustan Times
Mumbai, January 28, 2013
First Published: 15:28 IST(28/1/2013)
Last Updated: 17:21 IST(28/1/2013)

I am 18 and I’ve had five boyfriends so far. I’ve been single for the past 10 months. And now I have a crush on a boy who is 27. In the next two years, he will marry and leave Mumbai forever. He clearly told me that he likes me a lot. He has a lot of interest in sex and has asked me out many times. I like him and I think I’m in love with him. But the age factor confuses me. Do you think he truly likes me? Should I think about a relationship with him?
—Sakshi Sharma

Sakshi, you remind me of a young Björn Borg. You both had five big victories at an early age. Five boyfriends under the age of 18 is a big feat. You must be a very popular girl. Of course, telling me that a 27-year-old boy is interested in sex like saying that the sky is blue, politicians are corrupt or that Lata is a Mangeshkar. Why bother to find out the depth of his feelings. Like my second girlfriend Preeta, who left me for a local football team, you seem to prefer quantity to quality, so add another feather to your cap.

I’m in the 11th standard and deeply in love with a girl. It was love at first sight. I approached her on Facebook and we talked for about 15 days. Later, I started talking to her in college. She initially spoke to me and then suddenly stopped. I still love her a lot. What should I do?
—Mr Lover

Mr Lover, when my neighbour Mrs Sharma was stung by a jellyfish, in spite of our best efforts, we weren’t able to save the jellyfish. The reason was details. We didn’t have enough knowledge about the jellyfish. Your problem is similar; we don’t have enough information. She used to speak to you, and then suddenly stopped. Assuming you spooked her off with your dialogue, dressing or appearance, I think you need to get a common friend to investigate the matter and provide you with the details, which you can then pass on to me. But do it fast, so we can at least save. The jellyfish.

I am 18 and I was in a relationship with a girl of my age. We broke up three months ago. Now I miss her a lot, and want to be with her again. She says she has a boyfriend. But I think she still loves me. What should I do?
     —Confused Pritesh

Well, Pritesh, you’ve just been fired, sacked, run off the farm. This is great news because you are in a position where you just cannot lose. So do try again. Worst case, you remain fired which is your current position anyway. Best case? Your get locked inside the farm. Nothing to lose, right? 

I am 20 and I have been in love with my classmate for a long time. Last Valentine’s Day, I asked her out. After a few days, she replied saying she cannot commit to a relationship. Though we were friends, she didn’t wish me on my birthday. So I stopped talking to her. It’s been three months and I just can’t forget her. Nowadays, she just smiles at me. Should I try again?
 —Known Stranger

Known bhai, it’s not looking good for you. a) She turned you down formally b) She didn’t acknowledge your birthday which at 20 is frankly insulting, though at 70, it’s very comforting. c) After time passed, she vaguely acknowledges you with the odd smile . If I we-re your father, I’d tell you to forget her, shut the book and move on. Of course, if I were your father, then my wife would be your mother, which means you’d have a whole heap of other problems to deal with.


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