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HindustanTimes Thu,18 Dec 2014

It’s the naked truth
Hindustan Times
May 02, 2012
First Published: 21:25 IST(2/5/2012)
Last Updated: 21:26 IST(2/5/2012)

Osama bin Laden may have been sleeping with the fishes for a year now, but al-Qaeda still remains as inventive as ever. Now when he was alive, poor old Osama had to rely on videos to issue death threats and couriers to disseminate his ideas about world peace. But with him gone and many out to get his followers, the business of getting the organisation’s terror plots and future course of actions from one place to another has become ever more difficult.

But nothing is beyond our lads in al-Qaeda. One method, as we discovered recently, was to embed plans in a pornographic movie which was found hidden — where else? — in the underpants of a certain Maqsood Lodin who was arrested in Berlin last year. But for every Lodin, many undercover agents must have got through. Imagine the scene. “Ahmed, why are you breathing so heavily? Though our Sheikh is no longer with us, do his words inspire you so much?” one operative would ask the other. The heavy breather would then respond, “The plot to blow up targets erected by the infidels seems to need the use of a number of naked body parts. This could be a new course of action, but what the hell, I am enjoying a bit of break from the goats and camels of the Khyber.” So al-Qaeda jihadis across the world will get a bit of earthly fun watching their instructions unfold in skin tones before going up in the big kaboom.

In fact, our beloved jihadis are adapting to the ways of the evil world. Not so long ago, one of their leading lights actually encouraged terrorists to drink and frolick with women so as to not attract any suspicion that they might be the pure and faithful. What a smart way to have a sneak preview of your heavenly rewards. Now al-Qaeda has to put out a manual on how to decipher these risqué movies. It will be quite a switch to go from the digitally enhanced to the anatomically enhanced. But then, these are the bare necessities of jihadi terror.


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