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HindustanTimes Tue,21 Oct 2014

Forgive and be strong

Pankaj Kumar
April 17, 2013
First Published: 01:06 IST(17/4/2013)
Last Updated: 01:08 IST(17/4/2013)

We need to accept our own imperfections and try to forgive others for the wrong done by them in order to ensure our psychological and spiritual well-being.

We cannot see our own faults. So when others point them out, we should pay attention and be grateful. And we should not be too eager to see the weaknesses in others.

The Bible says: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

At times, people criticise us out of jealousy or other negative emotions. If we pay heed to them, our self-esteem will be lowered and our resolve to continue life’s struggle will be weakened.

If we have an ailment or a psychological problem, we should accept our imperfection and seek medical opinion rather than denying the problem.

We should ignore the wrong done by our family members and colleagues, and not be too eager to pass judgment. Perhaps we did not understand them or they did not understand us.

Problems generally arise in relationships because the two persons do not understand each other. The best way to understand a person is to encourage him/her to talk about himself/herself and listen with empathy. We should try to understand others before expecting them to understand us.

If a family member has a short temper,  we can stay silent when he/she speaks angrily. Later, we may be able to realize the strengths of his/her character.

Parents do what they think is the best for their children, but there could be deficiencies in their upbringing. On growing up, the children should realise this and love their parents unconditionally.

Perhaps, we can see the beauty of forgiveness in what Dr Janette Rainwater, clinical psychologist and writer, says: “Forgiveness is not an admission that a person was right in what she did, but it is a statement that you understand the frailty of the person who injured you. And to perceive that you could have been capable of the same action.”


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